Monday, January 04, 2010

Don't Sit Under The Knittin' Tree With Anybody Else But Me....


A Suburban Bedtime Story:

Once Upon a Snowy Night, Blaine and Bo Had A Conversation Which Went Like This:

Bo: "Can you believe I found this horrible bag while cleaning out my knitting closet? It was filled to the brim with Lorna's Laces yarn. I must have knitted that stupid bag 10 years ago---maybe when I was trying to learn modular knitting....or how to knit something onto another knitted piece...or simply what to do with scraps of yarn. It's the most damndest, ugliest thing I've ever seen in my life."

(Is "damndest" a real word?)

Blaine: (Smiles but doesn't say anything....)

Bo again: "Well... just look at the ridiculous thing! It actually hurts my eyes with its ugliness. I shouldn't even call myself a KNITTER! It's the most pitifullest thing I've ever seen knitted in all my born days! And Good Lord.... but I can't believe I actually tried to knit a little red flower onto it! Like that was going to make it more attractive, huh! God, WHAT POSSESSED me to knit that thing?"

(Is "pitifullest" a real word?)

Blaine: (still smiling and not saying anything...)

Bo again: "Okay, look---I know you think it's ugly. Anybody would. Especially the back side of it. Just go ahead and say it's hideous---I can take it."

Blaine (finaly, after sighing): "You used to hide vodka in it. And every time I'd find it in there, I'd take the vodka out and fill the damn thing with skeins of yarn."

Bo (after a long pause....): "So THAT'S what happened to my vodka. I just figured I'd been too drunk to remember where I'd hidden it..."

Blaine (again smiling): "And the really funny thing was watching you try to surreptitiously tear the house apart looking for the vodka....heh..."


The End




Nurse Stella said...

I actually kind of like that bag!

Bo... said...

Thank you, Nurse Stella! I feel the same way---it kind of grows on ya....

Eve said...

I gotta admire Blaine for his ingenuity and sneakiness.

Bo... said...

You're so right, Eve! He totally amused himself with that situation, the little whippersnapper!

Georgi said...

1. I like the bag, I would carry it proudly.
2. Blaine is mean sometimes.

Happy New Year

Karen said...

Hey, I think it is really cool - all those colors and patterns!

Anonymous said...

Bo, don't forget, Blaine just had your best interests at heart when he replaced the vodka with yarn.

But that bag. OMG, just OMG. Word escape me when I look at it...

Karen O'Grady said...

hmmmm...I wouldn't say it was ugly...Unique more like. Perhaps you should make up a story about each of the pieces. It kind of reminds me of my fav childhood book, The Counterpane Fairy.

Bo... said...

Thanks, you guys! You make me feel better. And to Karen: thank you for suggesting the story behind the pieces. I definitely know that one yarn was from a baby sweater I'd knitted for a co-worker. At least 2 of the yarns were for Christmas blankets for my sister's family. One "ragg" yarn was for house socks for a friend. And about 3 or 4 yarns were for a scrap afghan for another family member. Yay! Karen, you've definitely cheered me up about this bag!