Good Lord, but what you need to do is to focus on why you are so enraged with idgity me. Or go haunt YH with your nonsense since she seems to be your idol. Or go get your own dang therapist to help you with this unhealthy jealousy and obsession of me. Truly, I mean it---you need help!
It's one thing to "dislike" somebody. I have a lot of commenters who strongly dislike me. And I don't like YH. But disliking somebody is no big deal---there's no law in the universe that says one has to like everybody. But you've crossed the border from "disliking" me to being "enraged" with me---which means that you've allowed your out-of-control anger with me to totally consume you! Have you looked at how many comments you've all written (in your stupid attempts to heap insult upon insult on me), desperately hoping that those insults will upset me? It's absolutely insane!!! And your insults don't upset me---actually, Blaine and I are laughing our asses off at you! Can't you see how your obsessive anger and jealousy of me is eating you alive? It's like it's the only thing you can think about! Believe me, you need to step back and take a good look at yourselves---and get a grip!
Anyhoo, wish I could chat more, but I've got a busy day today. I'm going to go meet one of my therapists, the new "mobile therapist" Fred has assigned me--- the therapist who is supposed to help me overcome my extreme shyness and fear of crowds. (Fred calls it "socialization therapy".) And the new therapist is insisting that we meet in public, at a location where there's lots of shops. (I told my glamourous, jet-setter sister that I was nervous about it but, in her typical positive fashion, she said to "make it an adventure and buy a latte or something" , heh! I love my sister!!)
And guess what, loonies?
You DON'T get to go! LOL! LOL!
So, buh-bye, suckers!
I don't understand how you can have extreme shyness and fear of crowds, and yet write about all these amazing events in your life where you have saved the day with your daring and bravado. Is the shyness a new thing?
No, it's not new.
For the 22 years that I worked as an RN, I developed a "tunnel vision" for when I was on the job. I was not the same person at work that I was in my off hours. At work I was totally into my work and tried to be "perfect". I felt that each issue was a puzzle to be solved, so I was constantly trying to analyze. I could never relax. Thus, I was a loner, always afraid of making a mistake, and completely focused on the tasks at hand. People thought I was stuck up.
My employers loved me precisely because I was so obsessive-compulsive about my job, whether in the ER or on the road. Because I was wearing the "Perfect Bo" face. And, being an ER/ICU nurse, I tend to function well in an emergency or dangerous situation because then my training takes over and I'm like on "automatic" or something.
But let me tell you, what you call my "daring and bravado" was an act. I was usually scared shitless on the inside!
And for the years I was on the road as a Road Nurse, I was the same way, a loner, and I loved spending all those solitary hours in my vehicle. But during the years I was a Road Nurse in Podunk, I actually made some good friends, for once. I miss those days in Podunk.
And, I was not in sobriety then from alcohol. I would go home so tense and full of anxiety--and since I had no social life-- I'd drink the fears away. Then I'd get up the next morning and do it all over again.
I could never deal with the crowds in malls, concerts, churches, or Walmart. On more than one ocasion when grocery shopping in Walmart, I'd have a "panic attack" and just leave my full cart of groceries and run out of the store.
And I have many an in-law or family member who is completely angry with me because I find excuses not to go to their house for social ocasions.
Anyway, the meds I've been stuck on have helped. But I'm still a hermit. For example, I'd love it to death if I could go to one of the local "knit nights" around here but I can't get up the nerve.
So now, in this time that I am not working, I finally found some therapists that aggressively treat my condition because it's really debilitating. (There's more stuff than just the fear of crowds...) And I mean they're aggressive. And they're the only ones in my whole life who ever helped. (I guess the person who got me into this practice group knew what they were doing, heh.)
Anyway, that's it.
Plus anonymous left unchecked alot of disorders such as anxiety, pstd, etc. can get 'worse' or more extreme, as it goes on.
Don't let them get to you, Bo! We all love you out here and love reading your blog. I am an RN too and love reading of your adventures you were always going on....so don't stop because some 'stupid moron' decided to make dumb or insane comments! (never read them, so don't know how dumb or insane, but from your post, they must have been way out there! LOL) Keep on posting for the rest of us who enjoy who you are! deb in CA aka socknurse
Thank you so much, Deb!!
I love reading your blog and was shocked to read about people posting such negative comments. It's too bad there are so many crazies in the world.
Pay no attention to the crazies behind the curtain.
Thank you, Marie!!!
I agree with Marie....ignore the haters...I've been reading your blog for a while but just signed up to follow. Keep it up...love your stories. Your Christmas photos were beautiful!
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