Friday, September 25, 2009

Tonight's Prayer...

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Dear Lord:

Blaine's mother is driving me crazy. Surely You, in Your infinite mercy, don't want me to go any more crazier than I already am, right? (I mean, my therapist is just ITCHING to raise the dosages on some of my meds--- so we don't want to give him any more reasons, do we?)

So could you make that harpy stop criticizing everything I do or say? Her behavior tonight was a perfect example. First she criticized the gray sweater I'm knitting. Then she complained about the fan being on, when she specifically saw me turn it on while complaining about the heat. Then she took my spot on the couch after hearing me tell her husband that it is my favorite knitting spot.

And then.... I know that You heard her ask me why I am on a weight-reduction diet. And then you heard her warn me (in front of everybody) that "if I lost too much weight I might get jowls". And then you heard me retort sassily:
"I don't care". And then you heard her yell incredulously, "You mean you don't care about YOUR FACE??"

And you know, Lord, at that particular moment I wanted to say something about her own face. And I also wanted to tell her just how much I want her to get out of MY face.....

But I was a good girl and didn't say either of those things.

So... doesn't that get me some Brownie Points or some other sort of "extra Heavenly credit"? If so, could you please make her discover some reason why she suddenly has to return to New York early? Tomorrow morning would be good for me.

Sincerely,

Your humble servant,

Bo

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P.S. Oh, and I also think that I deserve some Brownie Points for not uttering a single cuss-word since she arrived.
(And that DOES take some self-control....)

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17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Karma's a bitch, ain't it.

kg said...

hang on Bo! You are due for
some just-plain relaxing at home time!

Bo... said...

To Anonymous:

Are you speaking about me having bad karma? And that Blaine's mother's treatment of me is my just desserts?

You know, I never had you pesky "Anonymouses" until I criticized Yarn Harlot for making frequent anti-American comments. And now I'm stuck with you idiots.

Well, for all of you "Anonymouses" still out there waiting to take a pot shot at me, here's my current stance:

1. I still don't like the fact that Yarn Harlot has disdain for the very country who cha-chings her livlihood. She makes about 80% of her income from Americans.

2. I still don't give a damn who gets mad at me for proclaiming the above information.

3. I am not the only American who thinks this way about Yarn Harlot. I have had HUNDREDS of emails confirming that fact and cheering me on.

4. Anybody who sends me "Anonymous" hate mail because of my opinion is a PINHEAD, in the Bill O'Reilly sense.

5. In fact, sometimes I feel like the Bill O'Reilly of knitting bloggers, HEH! I say the things a lot of people think but have too much manners to say out loud.

6. You're a pinhead.

Bo... said...

Oh yes, Anonymous:

And I'm still calling for a boycott of Yarn Harlot's books and classes in this country. I don't take it kindly when somebody mocks or criticizes my country when they're making money from our hard-earned dollars--- especially in this badly damaged economy.

Anonymous said...

You're a true moron. YH loves this country just not as much as her own.

It's ignorant right winged zealots like you that's ruining this country.

Your mother must be appalled at the fact that her up bringing produced such a closed minded moron. I feel sorry for people in your family.

I think your mother in law is right about you. She probably feels horrible that her son got mixed up with such a mental case.

Your doctor doesn't need to prescribe you any more meds. You need to be tucked away in a psych ward some where and left to rot.

Bo... said...

To Anonymous #2:

Ho ho ho!!! Got anger issues? I couldn't care less what you think of me and my family. This is America and I have the freedom of speech to give my opinions. You sound like a rabid dog foaming at the mouth. Personally, I think you're jealous of me.

Anonymous said...

Bo, It is too bad you could not have stayed at your mother's house until the wicked mil went back to her home. You were so very happy there. it is a shame you had to return before she left.
I hope it will not last too much longer. You are doing a great job of keeping your cool!

Marsha

Bo... said...

Thank you kg and Marsha!!

Anonymous said...

My "karma" comment had nothing to do with the Yarn Harlot & had everything to do with your casting ill will ...what you put out in the universe inevitably comes back to you. I'm sad for you, I really am, because it's apparent you've not found the peace in your life you're seeking. You very obviously have anger issues, Bo, and are trying to find ways to place the blame for those on everyone else but where it belongs ...squarely on your own shoulders. I wish you peace but sadly, I don't think you want that, otherwise you wouldn't have this blog. You're like the naughty child who seeks attention in whatever way they can get it, positive or negative.
Peace out, honey.

Bo... said...

To Anonymous #1, who came back to "argue" with me:

You're obsessed with me and you can't help yourself. I'm really very flattered!

Bo... said...

Also to Anonymous #1:

What "ill will" is it that I have supposedly "cast out to the universe", hmmm? I've never been accused of any ill-will-casting till my argument with Yarn Harlot. So you're lying when you say that your comment doesn't have anything to do with that issue, dumbass.

Anonymous said...

Why would you say I have anger issues? I didn't capitalize things. I didn't use any exclamation marks. You're the one that's angry. Constantly angry that YH is a Canadian that likes her own country better then the USA. Gee, what a shock. Only a right winged moron such as your self would take her posts as anti-American.

I'm merely pointing out your mental illness and stupidity.

Bo... said...

To Anonymous #2 (above)

(picture me laughing hysterically at you!)

You are SOOOOOO obsessed with me! It's so flattering--and I'm surprised you can't see it. You are obsessed with my opinion of Yarn Harlot, you're obsessed with your opinion of my "mental state", and you're obsessed with your pathetic attempts to make me angry.

Sorry to disappoint you on all accounts, but the facts remain:

1) I still hold the opinion that Yarn Harlot periodically makes what many of us Americans consider as anti-American statements---and that thousands of us patriotic Americans don't like the fact that the stupid coward makes lots of money off of us. (And I call her a coward because she uses thugs like YOU to do her dirty work and publicly insult me for her benefit);

2) I still don't care what you think about my so-called "mental health" issues. Hah! My own therapist tested my IQ at 164 and I'm sure that your own IQ can't detect the subtle insults I'm leveling at you in my many soliloquies...

3) You still can't make me angry. How could a buffoon like you make me angry? I feel sorry for you, as many people have emailed me to tell me how pathetic you sound!

4) And by the way---(and this is extra, in case you were smart enough to "count" the points listed above)---you are throwing around political labels like crazy, and you know nothing of my politics. Nothing. So....see how stupid you are? You are labeling somebody without even knowing their affiliations. That has always been the mark of an idiot in my world.

My father (may he rest in peace) was a great diplomat for the United States of America. He also worked for the Men in Black during the last years of his life. (You're probably too stupid to know what that means.) And he always had a saying about people like you:

"Doncha hate assholes?"

Teresa said...

Bo:

I agree this is YOUR blog for you to write about whatever you want, but you can't possibly be surprised that you're receiving such a huge backlash over your comments about YH. Your comments were nasty and uncalled for. You think other people are jealous of you, but I think you're jealous of YH. She gets a log of love over the internet that you don't.

If you didn't like the YH blog, all you had to do was STOP READING IT and move on with your life. I think you will be much happier when you finally let this issue go. It's almost as if you enjoy the attention your ranting and raving has earned you. I feel sorry for you.

Remember my dear, ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES.

Bo... said...

To Teresa:

I read your other whiny comment before I read this one. And NOW I remember why I didn't publish your previous comment.

It's because you're stupid. You know NOTHING of American patriotism. You think this is a silly female argument over whose blog is more popular or some other stupid school-girl thing. But it's NOT ABOUT THAT, DUMBASS.

It is over my DEFENDING MY COUNTRY, you idiot!!! THE SAME THING THAT THE WARRIORS OF WWII, WWI, AND THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION DID, you moron!!!! It is about loving one's country to the point that you're willing to die for the freedom of your countrymen---or the fact that you've lost family members to that cause!

YOU SILLY TWIT, you obviously have absolutely no patriotism at all or you would totally understand why I abhor the Yarn Harlot and her ilk! I do NOT LIKE people who make anti-American comments and yet feel free to make money off us!!!!

YOU DUMBASS, you better check with the veterans in your family. They could tell you better what I am talking about!

Teresa said...

Hmmm, judging by your reaction to my comment, it appears I may have struck a nerve with you, my dear.

Bo, face it. The only person that thinks YH's comments are Anti-American is YOU. I've been reading her blog for over 2 years and nothing she says about Canada (or America)has EVER offended me.

By the way, the veterans in my family would NOT take you seriously. Trust me, they wouldn't. Try to get some sleep, my dear. Good night and good luck with your m.i.l.

P. S.: Notice I didn't resort to name calling when I addressed my comments to you? I was hoping you would not lower yourself to calling me nasty names, but I guess in your case, that's just too much to hope for.

Bo... said...

Dearest TERESA again:

I don't know you---and therefore I don't know whether you come from Canada, Saudi Arabia, or Mars (and I'm leaning towards Mars....) but, as I said before, you know nothing of American patriotism.

Nothing.

You are ignorant of American patriotism and the principles/history/psychology behind it.

You remind me of those high-school drop-out kids who thought the most important part of their day was gathering around the back of the gym building to smoke cigarettes and say: "Duh, I think I flunked the American History class today..."

(Heh, that was a funny remark---I crack myself up!)

And until you understand American history, American government, and American patriotism, you do NOT have the right to comment anymore on this blog.

Got it?

No more commenting on my blog. Bye bye!! Ciao baby! Toodle-oo!

Come back when you have an education!