Sunday, September 13, 2009

Chivalry Isn't Dead --- But It's Definitely On Life Support....


Scene 1:

Blaine and Bo are in the SUV, driving through town while Bo, as usual, chatters her fool head off, even though she is completely convinced that Blaine, being a typical male, neven listens to a dadblame word she says...

Suddenly, Blaine pulls over to the curb and stops the vehicle--- then turns to face Bo:

Blaine: "Get out."

Bo, shocked: "What the hell?"

Blaine: "Go ahead, get out."

Bo, still shocked--and also puzzled, wondering what in the hell she had said to Blaine which caused him to become so angry that he actually ordered her OUT of the vehicle: "Are you out of your mind? What in the hell did I say to you that was so bad that you are actually ordering me, a defenseless woman, out of the car in the middle of Olathe, Kansas--- seven miles from our home?"

Blaine: "What is your problem?"

Bo: "No, what is YOUR stupid problem? Why are you so angry with me?"

Blaine: "Dammit, Bo, I'll never understand you! I'm not angry with you at all. But don't you remember last week when you nagged me to death about how I 'never have the gentlemanly courtesy' to let you out at Walmart's door so that you don't have to walk in the heat all the way from wherever I park the car? Well, here we are at Walmart's front door--- and here I am trying to be courteous by letting you out--- but yet here you are STILL nagging me! So what is YOUR damn problem?"

Bo, turning her head to the right and realizing, to her mortification, that the vehicle is, indeed, located directly in front of the huge, entrance doors to Walmart: (silence)

Bo: (more silence)

Bo, humbly and shamefully, while climbing out of the vehicle: "Oh."

* * * * * * * *
Scene 2:

Blaine and Bo are in Walmart, shopping up and down the maze of product aisles. And Blaine is sporting a smug, smart-aleck expression on his face which is driving Bo mad. Bo ruefully suspects that Blaine is feeling very satisfied with himself because he was able to bring Bo down a peg or two--- and that the whole "get out" thing was done deliberately to startle the hell out of Bo for Blaine's amusement. And Bo (being Bo) is disturbed by these suspicions--- and she just can't let the issue lie....nooooo....Bo wants to turn the tables on Blaine...

So... when the two round the corner onto the frozen foods aisle, Bo did the only thing she could think of which she thought would put Blaine back "in his place".

She decided to pull one of Blaine's favorite Walmart pranks--- on HIM.


Bo, feigning innocence while happily noticing the shocked expressions of nearby shoppers: "BLAINE! HOW DISGUSTING!"

Blaine, angry as heck and blushing furiously while dragging a now giggling Bo off to another aisle in order to escape the disgust of the fart-witnessing shoppers: "You little brat! I'll get you for this!"

Bo, still giggling wildly: "And my little dog, too?"

"Get out", indeed.......



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