Thursday, August 13, 2009

Another Unfortunate Side-Effect Of Being Sick for Several Weeks.....

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Galveston, oh Galveston,

I am so afraid of dying....

("Galveston", Glenn Campbell)

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I don't know where I'm going,
But I sure know where I've been,
Hanging on the promises,
In the songs of yesterday,
And I've made up my mind,
I ain't wasting no more time,
So here I go again....

("Here I Go Again", Whitesnake)

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Well, I am certainly hoping the worst is behind me....

Today was the first day I felt halfway human in a long time. So I cheerfully got up with Blaine at 5:30 am and had a pleasant time drinking coffee and watching the news with him until he left for work at a few minutes before 7:00 am.

And then, feeling pleasantly sentimental, I decided to begin my day by trying to see the loveliness of the Perseid Meteor Shower which had been occurring for the last couple of days. I was hoping to snap a picture or two of some brilliantly blazing falling meteors.

But alas, all I got was a picture of the moon before the dratted battery of my camera went dead.

Oh well. Maybe next year.

Then, buoyant because I felt a little smidgen of my former physical strength returning, I decided to choose this day to return to the household chores that I had been neglecting for several weeks due to my illness. I knew there were probably a few loose ends that I'd need to straighten out.

So I decided to survey the house to see where I stood.

The first thing I noticed was that Blaine had been discarding his shoes wherever he happened to be standing at the time he removed them.

EEGADS, I thought. Blaine's stupid shoes were scattered helter skelter all over the dang place.

But then I remembered.....

Doesn't it say somewhere in the Bible “Love is patient; love is kind"?

Okay.....no big deal. I can do like the Lord says. I can be loving, patient, and kind. And so I decided that I could simply put my darling Blaine's shoes back into the closet where they belonged.

So I continued my inspection stroll. And as I walked from room to room, I noticed numerous stacks of newspapers....

Which, to my dismay, seemed to be discarded on the floor in whichever locations Blaine had happened to be reading them!

Willing myself not to be too annoyed, I remembered another Bible quote:

"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage and he shall stengthen thine heart".....

(And it was at that moment that I very wisely decided that the inspection of the downstairs bathroom--- a potentially hazardous-waste area--- and a place where Blaine is known to read countless newspapers and other educational tomes--- could wait until another time.....)

(Especially since there are no quotes in the Bible that give you permission to go batshit crazy and snatch someone bald.....)

Then I went upstairs and made the giant mistake of looking into Blaine's upstairs bathroom....

"I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD..."

After viewing the bathroom tradgedy, I felt a little faint and decided that I had better start my morning chores on something small and not very stressful. So I decided on the simple task of making the bed while straightening Blaine's closet area......

Until I noticed that most of Blaine's dirty or discarded clothes were strewn about on the floor...

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me
...."

Then, with dread, knowing what I would see....I slowly turned around to get a view of the state of Blaine's chest-of-drawers.....

After stifling a bloodcurdling scream, I remembered another appropriate Bible quote:

"It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle...

...than for Blaine to put his clothes into the proper drawers...."

Okay, Okay.... yes, I know that's not how that particular Bible verse is written but I'm sure the Lord will understand.

After deciding to forgo doing any chores at that particular moment, I stumbled unsteadily back downstairs into the living room. I needed to sit down and gather my wits about me for the Herculean tasks before me.

And it was then that I resentfully noticed the lack of concern or sympathy from certain other members of the household....

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And so I decided to drink some liquid courage--- Blaine's expensive Costa Rican coffee, which is dark, rich, and strong. Blaine's good coffee, mixed with sugar-substitute and my vanilla-flavored sugar-free creamer, is a beverage of untold delight.... and it never fails to energize me for whatever difficulties the day holds in store for me.

(And for my own sanity I decided to ignore the state of disarray which the kitchen seemed to be in.)

"Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised."

Okay, okay, that quote isn't from the Bible. It's from... well.... er....

Okay, dammit, it's from the television program "Star Trek: Voyager
"--- because I couldn't find any quotes about coffee in the Bible.

(There's lots of quotes about wine in the Bible but we won't go there, okay?)

My survey complete, and newly fortified with coffee, I made a verbal vow to the only beings present to hear it, which were the idgity cats.....

Things are gonna change around here.....

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5 comments:

Duckie23 said...

Hahaha! Blaine that sneaky little bugger! Funny how we don't seem to notice it until we're alone and "we" need to clean it?

Although your house wasn't that messy I must say! I wouldn't mind cleaning that!

danielle said...

ok....calm thyself...pull out some of your knitting (ignoring the yarn that the cats played with)... and if you think YOUR house is a mess....dont even think about coming to mine! 2.5 months on crutches does not lead to a clean house...

Linda in Alameda, CA said...

Bo - somewhere, probably on another blog, I read: The only place where Housework comes before Knitting is in the dictionary.
Keep that in mind! LOL

Maggie said...

well, at least you know you are starting to feel better IF you are noticing all that is out of order in the house. . . .
Take it in small steps, a few shoes, a paper or 2, and maybe the socks...take many knitting breaks, LOL

DT35 said...

Blaine is obviously related to my husband, whose Theory of How the Universe Ought to Work runs something like this: When you lose interest in an object, drop it on the closest flat surface. Next time you want it, whether that occurs 20 minutes or 20 years later, it will be right there. This theory actually works fairly well when the interval of disinterest is 20 minutes, but for longer periods, not so much, which then leads to plaintive queries beginning, "Where did you hide my [desired object]?"