It seems no one can help me now,
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray
Runaway train never going back,
Wrong way on a one-way track...
("Runaway Train", Soul Asylum)* By the way--- to everybody who keeps writing me and accusing me of being an "angry person riddled with rage" or other similar traits, let me say to you once and for all---you don't know me! And I am definitely NOT an angry person. But I do have some serious character flaws---but let's let the therapists deal with those, okay?
Actually, the best way to figure out my mood at any given time is to read the lyrics to whichever song or poem I put at the beginning (and sometimes at the end) of my blog posts.They are like "weathervanes" to my emotions.... Anyhoo, on to the next subject--- which is my long-awaited craft "studio". I never thought it could happen but it did ---- my "studio" is finished! I still have some art to put on the walls but I think everything else is in place for me to do all my crafts. And I'm so excited because Mumsy is sending me a box on Tuesday full of supplies to make my own pendants and beads with polymer clay! But if you're wondering about the dearth of "good furniture" in our house it is because.....well....I took it all away when I divorced Blaine. I returned to a house near empty, with only furniture that's absolutely necessary (like a couch and all the TV's.....). So since Blaine's not going to buy everything all at once, we spread furniture purchases out. And luckily for me, this time I got some necessary furniture for the studio room. And Blaine built all those shelves in two closets for all the yarn I've got here (I've got another stash at my mother's in Texas). And yes, in answer to some emails, I really DO KNOW that having "real" Persian carpets is illegal. But that's one of the perks about being diplomatic---you don't get your luggage or your mail searched when traveling between countries. Anyhoo, these 2 carpets were made in a village of Iran. When my mother was in the Middle East she mailed about 20 or 25 of them home--all different styles and colors. These ones are Blaine's that she gave him, and he's got two others. All mine are down at my mother's house, in my bedroom and "stash closet" there (it's a large, walk-in little room.) (And I have one that is so beautiful that I want to be buried in it when I die....) (Funny, it's so ironic that I want to be buried in a Persian rug from the Middle East--since that's where I was almost killed in a terrifying anti-American event. Those terrorists would probably sing praises to Allah if they knew an "infidel" had been buried in one of their dang rugs.) Here's a blog post of pictures of my bedroom at my mother's house: My bedroom. And if anybody is interested in the overwhelming beauty and art in my mother's house, here's a link to it, too: Mumsy. Anyway, having the Persian carpets in my studio makes it feel more homey---and reminds me of my beautiful mother, "Mumsy". Actually, everything in that room reminds me of my mother. She helped me pick out that TV when I bought it 2 years ago. And she bought me most of my cowboy boots lined up in there--pic coming. And she bought me almost all of my beading, jewelry-making supplies. And she bought me that brand new sewing machine in the next picture. (But the crocheted tablecloth was made by one of Blaine's grandmothers.) I forget which country I got that above tube pillow from. Probably somewhere in South America. And notice below that I like to keep near my yarn. I love this project table. If I want to use the sewing machine, I simply roll the bottom table underneath the top table. Below is some of the zillions of jewelry-making beads and supplies my mother bought me. I didn't have any good shelves upstairs so I put this tablecloth (from some country I visited but don't remember which one) on some sturdy boxes. (Never underestimate the creativity of we crafters, right?) And there's the cowboy boots line-up....and my favorite pairs are the suede, denim colored Laredo's on the left and the beautiful cut-work patterned ones all the way to the right that Mumsy gave me. Okay, now I'm going to tell you something that happened that's very weird. VERY weird. If you remember, I wrote a blog post once about how our cats stare at the upstairs landing all the time--the top of the stairwell-- and one time I finally got creeped out enough to snap a photograph at the spot the cats were gazing at---and lo and behold I caught something on the photograph. (And many more since then.) Anyhoo, Blaine and I were all abuzz about it for awhile but I finally got tired of whole topic and put it out of my mind. I gave it no further thought and went about my business, not caring a hoot whether the stupid cats were gazing at that spot or not. And then something happened yesterday.... ...when I was upstairs in the studio room putting down the carpets and doing other stuff.... I was standing near the doorway of the room---the doorway which opens up to the stairwell's landing at the top of the stairs (the spot the cats stare at!)---and I was facing away from the doorway, fiddling with stuff..... ...and I felt something touch me on my left hip area... And it was a definite touch... ....and so I turned around... And there was nobody there. And the touch felt like..... like something or somebody just wanted me to know it (or they) were there. Weird. Anyway, below is one of the pictures of the bubbles I frequently caught on a photograph when one of the cats was staring up there... I told Blaine what happened and he told me something that happened after our first cat, Tigerlilly, died. Blaine was sleeping one night and felt.....well, he felt Tigerlilly get up on the bed and lay down to go to sleep near Blaine like he always had when he was alive! It only happened once, Blaine said. Actually, I don't mind the thought of cat ghosts......oh wait.... Little Baby is elderly---and I wouldn't put it past her to haunt me after she dies. I wouldn't like that crochety little idgit bugging me. For one thing, I already have a kitten waiting for me at Rainbow Bridge, a kitten named Little Bunny Foo Foo---and he was the bestest little kitten in the world. And I don't want Little Baby coming up to heaven and trying to snatch Little Bunny Foo Foo bald like she does Leonard here in the present. Oh Holy Hannah! I really must be as crazy as everybody says! Because I'm sitting here talking about CAT GHOSTS for God's sakes! (Must write this down on my damn weekly "checklist of symptoms" I have to take to Jack, my therapist, when we have our weekly 1:1 meeting.....) (Actually, Jack, who's younger than my previous therapist, Fred, seems to be doing well with my insanity. The only time I caught him struggling not to laugh at me was when I gave him my weekly checklist onto which I had, in a fit of OCD, highlighted some key words on my list---and I had actually highlighted OVER some words that he had ALREADY HIGHLIGHTED when he gave me that new weekly checklist sheet!) Sigh.... Where was I? Oh, I was going to tell you about the boas I'm making. Below is a boa with black, red, and gold highlights with black furry yarn. I like it---and it looks better in person than when photographed. I'll make tons of different colored boas to sell at the holiday season. When I sold them in Texas they went like hotcakes. Below is the first boa I've made this season---and although that furry gold yarn is soft to the skin, it overwhelms the yarn underneath it. I won't use that brand of furry yarn again. But I did get 2 boas out of it. Below is the second one---and that gold furry yarn overwhelmed the Christmas colored yarn underneath, the red and green tones. Oh well, it's still pretty. Lookee below! Lookee! Little baby cherry 'maters! They're sprouting all over this plant. But below is a pic of something that is so strange to me. In all the TV commercials I've seen for the "Topsy Turvy" upside down tomato planters, they show the tomato plant aimed at the ground, growing upside down. But this tomato plant REFUSED to do that---and has always strived to grow upright like a proper tomato plant. (Is "strived" a word?) I don't care what the damn thing does---it can grow sideways for all I care--- I just want a ton of homegrown tomatoes. Below it is one of the two regular tomato plants we have. I'm going to have to put stakes in there because those type of tomato plants will have to get higher before they put out blossoms. Below are the snap bean plants. Don't blame me for all these plants that are in containers. I wanted to plant the vegetables and herbs in the ground but Blaine insisted he wanted a "deck garden". Speaking of a deck garden, our landlord gave us an entire flat of annual flower seedings. And they will grow well in containers. One other update and I'm asking seriously.... Blaine's bachelor days buddy and roommate, Jon, has come up to this part of the country to work a construction job and he's staying with us right now. He lives in Texas but the construction jobs have dried up down there. He's desperate for work and has been reduced to traveling up here and even further north to try and find it. He even borrowed $200 from Blaine, and I know that he felt shamed at having to do that. So first off, I told him that as long as he's in this part of the country he could stay with us---forget spending money on motels. I made up the guest room and bathroom for him, and Blaine hooked up my old color TV to the cable outlet in there. What I wanted to ask you guys is that this guy needs prayers so very badly. Like so many thousands in the USA, he is facing foreclosure on his house---the house he's lived in for about 20 years, which used to be Blaine's house but Blaine sold it to him. So please, if anybody could add him to their prayer list, it would be greatly appreciated. Or, if not prayers, could you send good vibes and positive energy his way? Thanks in advance for those of you who do. (You should see this guy---he's a giant. He towers over Blaine. And he has two little Chinese lapdogs. The dogs have not been....uh....accepted very well by the cats, but I'm sure they'll get used to them...) *