* Because you had a bad day, You're taking one down, You sing a sad song, just to turn it around... (Daniel Powter, "Bad Day") *
What a piss-poor day.
First, it seems like I will be working on the Little Red Riding Hoodie forever. The above picture looks a mess---but I'm just trying to keep everything together as I work on the last few pieces. After the hood is finished I have a whole sleeve and the rest of the trim to do---which will take another three forevers.... Next, I'm confronted with the horrid fact that I can't get out of going to Blaine's niece's music recital tomorrow. If I don't go, it will be categorized as a Level 5 Family Scandal, where the ensuing chaos would simply not be worth it for my sanity. So I'll go. And you KNOW just how much I hate going out of the house to places where crowds will be....
And, dammit, there's a dress code for the recital---and it says "No Jeans". So I don't know what to do because I have not owned a dress or a skirt for probably the last 8 years at least.
An ER nurse and Road Nurse wears two things and two things only----scrubs or jeans on the job--- and jeans off the job. And now that I'm not working, I only wear jeans....
Anyway I'm stuck---I have to go to the dang thing. No tricks up my sleeve like I did last month to avoid Easter Dinner...
And then.... sigh... to make my day even worse, I said something on a knit/crochet list that was praising somebody's clever design........
And I got FLAMED for it!
And I'm going to be the bigger person here and take down my telling of the incident. So if you looked earlier and are wondering why everything changed here, it's because I took the advice of somebody with a more level head than I have and am dropping the subject.....
Blaine's going to make me some spaghetti and meat balls which I've been craving all week.
I hope that when you get RRH done - you enjoy wearing it! Becuase I think it is spectacular! And sometimes, the best things just take longer to finish....
Cant you wear really nice jeans with a very dressy type top (if you have that)? I am with you - scrubs at work - jeans and sweats when not at work....
Sorry about your bad day Bo. The sweater looks better and better. It's downright spectacular. From my point of view, it's The prettiest sweater I've ever seen.
Thank you, so much Danielle! And in a little while I'm going to take your suggestion and go through my clothes and pick out the nicest shirt for the recital. My mom told me to wear a really nice, embroideried Western shirt she bought me last year---and so I think I might do that.
Thank you very much, Anonymous! Your kind words mean a lot. Tomorrow I'll probably start that 2nd sleeve, and I know it will go fast. What's daunting to me, though, is the close work that will be involved with all that trim...aaargh!
Bo, the RRH is sooooo cool. And almost done, wooohooo! When you're done, you can make me one. (Well except for the fact that I just don't have what it take to carry off wearing something that totally cool, I'm definitely NOT one of the cool kids.)
Anywho, you'll do fine at the recital, yes you will.
Ignore the stinkerbutts who flamed you for being nice. Just a bunch of poopoo heads. So There!
Thank you very much, Tottergirl!!!
RRH is looking good and it WILL get done - it just seems like you never will.
Good job on the recital. I knew you could do it.
And don't worry about all the pooheads - THEIR moms apparently didn't teach THEM any manners.
Thank you, Abzygirl!!
It's looking good Bo! And you will get finished with it! I have been tossing around the idea of knitting my 1st ever shawl, but am so afraid that I will never finish it since the stitches will be so small.
Friday I got word that my sister, oldest brother & sister's dh had all been arrested. Found out why, but she hasn't even let me know herself about it. Evidently the 2 guys will have to serve some time, but she was bailed on on a traffic violation. Saturday wasn't a bad day for us, but Sunday my dh's uncle passed away, a long time acquaintance lost their 8 year old grandson in a 4 wheeler accident & my son's former boss was killed in a small plane accident. So kind of glad the weekend is over, but still looking forward to the coming weekend!
Good grief, Cindy---that is what I call a horrible weekend. Wow, I'd never be able to keep myself calm with all those issues. I'm putting you in my prayers!
Thanks Bo! After about 2-3 hours sleep last night, I plan to have an early night tonight. But first I am going to go buy a ottoman for my new sofa (hidey-hole in it for my yarn too!), plan to have a glass of wine & maybe by ready to eat food for dinner. Good part of this week is that Friday we will be married 33 years, bad part is if he decides to go to his uncle's memorial service in PA, that is Friday - so up in the air about plans to celebrate for us.
It's too late for your recital but maybe you should buy a pair of nice dress slacks (if you don't want a skirt) for just such occasions when jeans aren't approved. A nice pair of slacks and a dressy top should be appropriate.
Thank you, Charlotte! I think you're exactly right. I should buy a nice dress outfit just for those occasions when they pop up. My too-casual dressing style is the bane of my mother's existence. I need a decent outfit. And especially for now that the holiday season will start looming quicker than we think!
As for your twitter post, everyone mourns in their own way. There was a lot of laughter at the funeral when my parents passed away, and there was no disrespect intended at all.
To Terri: Yes, I will admit that at funerals, when talking about the deceased, it is okay to laugh about good times when they were alive. It is a way to process one's feelings of loss, and the fact that everybody at the funeral had something positive to do with the deceased.
But....laughing and playing in the car on the way to the funeral? And the subject is not about the deceased? Noooooo....my mother or grandmother would have snatched me bald.
Although there can be some "modest" amounts of laughing about good times when the deceased was alive, it is in extremely poor taste to start the whole event off with giggling and laughing about how good or bad one knows how to knit.
Also, and I must insist that upper class people know this: you should wear BLACK, or mostly black to a funeral. Or if you don't wear black, you may wear a black armband to signify your mourning. This is something done to give respect that the family is in mourning.
And I'm not trying to be rude with my Twitter post---I truly was offended. Although I admit that I'm southern and we have some die-hard rules of etiquette, I know for sure that it isn't only southerners who show respect for the process of mourning.
I guess I'm glad that I don't belong to your elite class. If people in my family had to make a long drive out of town to a funeral, we'd never be able to stand it :).
Hold on Anonymous---I have something to show you.
This is the recent parts of the story of my Mamo dying. Do you see any hilarity or "fun"? No.
The whole thing was somber, respectful, and the family pulled together for that horrible time, since Mamo was an elder of the family---the Matriach on this side of the family.
The only thing I did was chronicle the events of my uncle's place since most of our family members are not Cajun and simply couldn't imagine struggling into the deep Louisiana bayou. But they kept in contact by phone and floral gifts.
This was a major deal to us. But it amazes me no end how other cultures make light of the death of a member of the family.
I didn't even KNIT.
And another thing, Terri, about your mocking me for using the term upper class:
In the south, we call it "good breeding".
Hold on, Terri: I have one more thing to show you:
Perhaps this can really give you a more close view of what I would think mourning is all about.
Who's obsessing over who's blog?
Pot meet southern bread kettle.
I think they probably changed for the funeral. The world holds many different cultures and we aren't all Southern. Out of respect for other people's mourning, I think it would be in good taste not to question how another culture mourns.(because it seems that's obvious in this case) Guess that's why I like being Canadian. We have a multicultural policy that accepts other cultures and their practices.
I'm not trying to be disrespectful, I'm just trying to make you see that there are differences in different parts of the world an to criticize people who are in mourning, whether you think so or not, seems to me, to be in bad taste.
I'm afraid you misspelled it. It's "southern BRED" NOT your "southern bread".
I REST MY CASE!!!!!!!
HEH! THANK YOU FOR PROVING MY POINT!!!!!
"Southern bread", hee hee!
Best laugh I've had all WEEK!!!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Bo, please read the post again as I did not mock you by using the term upper class. That was anonymous posting after me. I would not mock you.
To Terri---sorry for the mixup, and thank you for clarifying. I think there's a couple "Anonymouses" posting after you and I got mixed up. Please accept my apologies.
To the poster from Canada: Thank you for your comment---point taken.
But again to Anonymous from Canada:
Although I concede that you're correct about there being many differences in cultural behaviors, I would just like to point out one thing---I lived overseas all my life and came into contact with many Canadians. And not one of them seemed to like us Americans. They called us every name in the book and made many ugly jokes about us. I grew up thinking Canadians hated Americans. Even on my first day of the job in Baylor University Medical Center, as a nurse, there were 3 Canadian recruits there. We Americans invited them to lunch. One of the American girls pulled out a picture of her grandfather (along nwith the whole family) and the 3 Canadians, to a girl, laughed and mocked at the picture of the girl's grandfather. We three Americans said not a word. Throughout the next 22 years, every Canadian nurse I worked with acted "above" American girls. So that's partially why I can get a little bristly.
(Just had to get that out.)
I have read your replies, and I'm really not sure I will be welcome here at your blog anymore.
I lost my one and only, beloved grandfather 8 years ago. I wore a beautiful shade of royal purple to his funeral. My family and I laughed and talked on the long 9 hour car ride to where he lived and was to be buried. We didn't exclusively talk about him. I read outloud from one of the Harry Potter books to my husband who was driving and to my older son riding in the back seat. We were silly sometimes, and at others, I was sad. But, from what you have written, I am led to believe that my actions were not appropiate and that I should some how be condemned for it because I didn't do it "properly?" I would never dare tell someone that they aren't mourning properly. Their experience with death is not my own.
I realize you're Southern and that you were raised with certain traditions. But, those are YOUR traditions. Everyone mourns and deals with death in their own way.
I'm sad to hear that you have such a prejudice in your life. I pray that God will help lift it from your heart and help you look at people not based on where they are from but to see them as a human being and a child of God. This is something that I pray for everyone in the world.
As a woman of Irish descent, I have to say that laughing and enjoying one's self during such a time is considered a celebration of the life of the deceased. My family laughed and ate and drank and told jokes and remembered our grandmother when she passed on...over a period of three days for the wake. We were appropriately behaved during the Catholic funeral, and afterwards returned to my grandparent's home and returned to celebrating her life and our family the way we did during the three days prior. That is our way, and we make no apologies for it whatsoever. If you find that somehow offensive to you personally, that's something you might want to deal with.
Never mind that you have NO idea what was being spoken of in that car. So don't make assumptions about something in which you have no data for. It's incorrect, unfair and reflects poorly on your Southern upbringing (I highly doubt that a Southern upbringing includes such things as passing judgement on people without basis, does it?)
And as a Canadian, can I point out to you that bitchy people come from all countries? We are NOT 'bred' to hate Americans, regardless of your perception based on a few people, and in fact the vast majority of us hold no ill will whatsoever towards Americans. I'll even go so far as to state with confidence that many of us rather like Americans just fine. It's simply unfathomable that you have decided to generalize a population of 33 million people based on the behaviour of a handful. It's highly insulting and does not mesh with your celebrated Southern upbringing.
Perhaps you, since you are a Christian, ought to reflect on the phrase "Judge not lest ye be judged"?
You're always welcome here, Mel.
I guess what hit me so negatively were the photographs of the laughing and giggling. I know that human beings will be human beings, but to photograph it and put those photographs in the same blog post/twitter post at the time of the funeral just seemed to be very wrong timing and totally inapropriate to me. And you know me, I say what I think--which isn't always the way others think...
Ok, Vamp, I'll start at the top to see if you can possibly understand where I'm coming from...
1) I do understand about the Irish and how they handle death. I find nothing wrong with that at all. It is their tradition and is meant with all due respect. (And I'll just bet that if they were giggling and playing games in the back seat of the car on the way to the funeral (especially in an actual "funeral procession), their Irish grandmother would have dealt with them somewhat severely.)
2) And no, I don't know what words were spoken in the backseat of the car---but the wide-toothed grins and hilarity of mood seen said it all.
As for southerners and being judgemental--- hell, we're the most judgmental people in the unviverse. We are born and bred to be mannerly and we look down on what we call "ill manners".
3) My knowledge of Canadians is based on that which I experienced. And I'm not talking just one or two people here that caused me to wonder about how Canadians viewed Americans, I'm talking about hundreds. I grew up in diplomatic circles and so I knew both young and older Canadians---and they constantly regaled us with their "American jokes". And get this---because we were all under the flag of diplomacy, we had to laugh at those jokes. Their children were more cruel at the English-speaking schools we attended. But even the adults were hard to take, constantly comparing Canada more favorably to America. Hell, even that TV show "King of the Hill" has an episode where a Canadian family moves next door and procedes to mock and ridicule every the Americans did. And then I worked with Canadian recruits in American hospitals. They never knew when to quit with the "American jokes".
And guess what? There's a lot of jokes Americans tell but there's no such things as "Canadian jokes". Rarely have I ever heard an American mock a Canadian.
And I've thanked the damn Canadian government employees 1,000 times for saving some of our American asses during the Iranian hostage crisis. And even 30 years later, while in Syria and teaching English to Syrians, the Canadian teachers brought that up continually while criticizing Americans for "getting in that mess in the first place".
So you can see why I might have a defensive attitude.
For the record, I dearly love Canadians. I actually have some long lost relatives up there in Arcadia and Quebec.
I'm anonymous because I don't have a blog. My name is Kate.
I wonder why....even though it is your blog, and you can/should write about anything under the sun you want....you would twitter about your judgment of the YH's blog post. Why stir it up? Why go public with it? Why invite all this buzz about you/Canadians/Americans/death/funeral manners. Why? I would think that good manners of any geographic area would include sometimes thinking,
but not saying.
I am confused. Maybe you get a rise out of this all. I am sad you have so much hate. Process, Bo. Heal. Move on.
If you read me long enough, Kate, you'll learn that I say exactly what I feel. Unlike some blogs, I am not "politically correct", I am sometimes judgmental, and I am very vocal about the things I think about. Sorry---it's just the way I am.
Kate, again. But if it is "sorry, that's just the way I am"....which I can respect, then why not understand that "that is just the way others are"....on their way to funerals?
Oh good grief, Kate! Can't you quit while you're ahead? Read point 2 of my reply to Vamp...
It's a good day in my world when I get dressed & don't spend the day in PJ's.
Congratulations on the decision to take the higher road & not sink to the lower level.
Hopefully, while you're "stuck" going to the recital you will at least be able to knit. My family knows I am much more disruptive without it.
Ok, fine, whatever.
I'm done. You continue to be judgemental and close-minded. Apparently it's the only way you know how to live.
You might want to discuss it with one of your three therapists. It can't be healthy.
Won't be coming back. Don't need your blog in my online life. So, no, I won't see whatever "calls it as I sees it" response you wing out of your rear end.
Thank you, Tamiknits!!!
That's four therapists, Vamp. 2 who come to my home and try to drag me outside, 1 who does 1:1 Freudian style therapy at the Center, and 1 who heads up the group I will begin attending next week. The group is actually individual therapy in a small setting, with maybe 6-8 of us who have been selected specially for the group, which will last one year. Some patients have to repeat that year. Some patients repeat the year and THEN repeat the first six months. Scary....
And let's not forget the psychiatrist who evaluates me every month for my meds...
Glad to see I am still welcome. :o)
Read through your newest replies and now I see something that you mention in those that wasn't clear before. I did a little investigating to make sure what I read on her blog and tweets was how I had originally understood it. And, it was.
Bo, sweetie, you've misunderstood something about her blog posting and tweets. She was teaching her sister to knit on the long drive to where the funeral was going to be. They were passing the time during the travel part of the trip. They are wearing their travel clothes, not their funeral clothes. That was when the picture was taken. This was not during the funeral procession, or at the funeral itself. I think the actual funeral was the next morning.
I for the life of me couldn't figure out why you were getting so upset by what they were doing in the car on the way to their destination. Now that I know what you were thinking and what you understood it to be, I see why you got worked up and said what you did. In your earlier posts, you weren't very clear in communicating WHEN you thought the picture was taken. I think that's what threw a lot of the people who posted on here off, and why some of them replied the way they did and got their feathers ruffled.
I know I felt hurt when I read what you wrote before I posted the first time. I felt like you were judging me over how I've grieved in the past over lost loved ones. (I know you weren't.) But, now that I know you were reacting to a simple misunderstanding, I don't feel that way anymore.
Thank you, Mel--- and thank you for your understanding. :)
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