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Southern Women:
Southern women know their summer weather report: Humidity, Humidity, Humidity...
Southern women know their vacation spots: The beach, the rivuh, the crick...
Southern women know everybody's first name: Honey or Shugah...
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:Fried Green Tomatoes, Driving Miss Daisy, Steel Magnolias, Gone With The Wind...
Southern women know their religions: Baptist, Methodist, Football...
Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Chawl'stn, S'vanah, Foat Wuth, N'awlins, and Addlanna...
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen: Men in uniform, Men in tuxedos, and Rhett Butler...
Southern girls know their prime real estate: The Mall, The Country Club, and The Beauty Salon...
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails, having bad manners, and cooking bad food...
More Suthen-ism's: Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them...
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess"...
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk...
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart"... and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff....bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah!
Now Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!
(If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could…)
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22 comments:
Think I'm gonna hurl. That's a Northernism.
You forgot my other favorite name - which totally reminds me of my Uncle Jack cause I always hear it in his voice - and that is Shug (and only a Southerner knows how that is pronounced!)
Southern women know : horses sweat, men perspire, and women glisten....
Oh - and I forgot - only Southern people know at what level politeness is polite or an insult...
Bo, I wasn't going to validate the cruelty of the "person" who started the nasty twitter account, but I can't help it. That is one of the more cruel, and despicable thing I can think of. Please know that I am behind you 100%. From what I can tell, you are just a gal living your life, and dealing with your issues in the best way you can. You speak your opinion on your own blog, and more power to you for doing just that. Hang in there my friend.
Terri
You're right, Danielle!
Thank you, Terri. That means a lot.
Bo some nasty person out there really has issues and it is just plain sad.
I love southerners, know a Virginia gentleman I could listen to fer hours, he sounds like what you would imagine Robert E.Lee.
Thanks, Maren!
Bo, Please listen to me, the more I think about this the more worrisome it appears to me.
My husband has been in law enforcement for over twenty-five years and I was also an officer.
This twitter account and some of the other comments sound very obsessive to me.
Please talk to your therapists about this. Make sure they are aware of what is being said. Then talk to local law enforcement, this falls under the federal cyber-bullying/stalking laws. You may want to get the FBI involved.
There is a federal office where you are in Kansas.
This has gone beyond mean and straight to dangerous.
I think you're right, Maren---and I'm going to do as you say. Because it does have the feel of danger---like some person is totally obsessed way beyond the sanity point. I'll make a couple calls tomorrow. And thanks.
Oh, Maren, you're frickin hilarious.
I can just hear it:
"Emergency services, what's your emergency?"
"Some horrible meanie is making fun of me on Twitter!"
Excellent.
Also, Southern is in your blood. So many of those things are true of my family even though we haven't lived in the south since my great-grandparents moved west around the turn of the 20th century. The "Southern" just sticks.
Bo - your list makes me wish I was a Southerner, instead of a lifetime Californian.
there is nothing like Southern manners! I am a yankee :) but when I was a child I met my cousins from South Carolina. They addressed their parents as "sir" and "ma'am". I was very impressed!
Anonymous---if I were you, I'd stop your harassment, because you're crossing the line. Just sayin'.....
You're so right, Tottergirl! And then when you go back to visit all your southern relatives, you revert back to the heavy southerness!
Linday in Alameda---you're welcome to come visit any time you want! We'll convert ya by osmosis! Actually, my mom would spoil you to death, and if you tasted her cajun shrimp etouffee, you'd be converted for sure!
They sure do, Anonymous! It's an age thing---respect is given to age. So even if you are in public and don't know anybody around you, those younger than you have to call you ma'am or sir.
They sure do, Anonymous! It's an age thing---respect is given to age. So even if you are in public and don't know anybody around you, those younger than you have to call you ma'am or sir.
Bo, this in response to your last Twitter as of this comment. Yes, it can stop. Just stop reading her and following her on Twitter, and then she can't offend you.
You said so yourself in your post before last that you think of your blog as a gab fest between friends. Well, that's the way she talks on her blog too, as if she were talking with her friends. Plus, she actually used the word that offended you in reference to her knitting since she was talking about proportion and the way the garment hung on her. I know when I talk with the girls in my knitting group (we meet at a Panera Bread Company,) we talk about all sorts of things, including breasts since there are several nursing moms in our group. So, I guess you can call me unladylike too. Does this mean I can't visit your blog anymore?
Bo, I know you are under a lot of stress with the change in therapy and your anxiety about attempting new things, but I got to tell you, there is honesty and then there is just being mean. And sweetie, you're coming off as mean and somewhat childish in the way you respond sometimes. Why do you care so much about what she says on her blog? How does what she writes affect your life?
I come here and I feel like you're judging me and my life when you say things in reference to her, because I see parallels of her life in mine. I think, "Gee, Bo wouldn't want to be friends with me, because I'm too much like this person she dislikes." And, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who visits your blog who feels that way when we read some of your comments.
I am in no way trying to attack you, and I definitely do not agree with what some people have posted on here in response to you, or are doing like a so-called Twitter account. They are being childish, but you don't have to stoop to their level. It's starting to sound like an elementary school playground around here with all the name calling and insults.
And finally, you do need to apologize for the comments you initially made about YH when she was on her way to a funeral which started all of this hoopla up again. You misunderstood something (which I pointed out to you,) and you should make it right. It does not mean you are letting "them" win. It means you are the bigger person and a true lady.
Have a blessed day and enjoy the new studio,
Mel :o)
Thanks, Mel---I will give serious thought to the points you raise. And please know that you are ALWAYS welcome here--no matter what.
Thanks for the post -- I'm fixin' to send it on to some fellow Southern expats!
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