Friday, May 15, 2009

Confession --- I Lost My Temper With Our Local TV Channel....

Okay, I'm going to admit here that I lost my temper with our local TV channel--- which resulted in me sending a "complaint e-mail" to their programming manager.... (okay, and maybe I sent a copy of it to the "Letters to the Editor" of the Kansas City Star newspaper).... (and it's... er... self explanatory)...

Dear Madam Editor:,

I know that I am not alone in my complaint about your tv station's excessive weather coverage.

What IS IT with you that you feel that you simply MUST interrupt our evening television shows to spend two solid hours describing every single detail of the POSSIBILITIES of what you call "severe weather", which is really just a routine spring storm? And you spare no inconsequential, boring, dumb-ass detail in your zealous desire to "scoop" other TV channels on said weather coverage, which means that we poor viewers are a totally "captive audience" while
missing our regularly scheduled programming-- our favorite damn shows! And such, we are basically forced to ENDURE your ridiculously lengthy, hours-long weather 'primers' every single dadblame frigging time there are severe weather conditions!! Which aggravating ritual happens over and over and over, every time there's even a scant chance of thunder!!

(In spring, no less, when there's a stupid rain storm every other ding-dong day!)

And, additionally, you not only take endless hours of our viewing time to give us your stupid "weather lessons", but you also bore us to death discussing the behavior of your station's "weather spotters" (who chase the storms while hoping to gain a live picture of a tornado), and you EVEN talk on the phone with said spotters as they chase the stupid storms (WHICH WE COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT WHAT THE HELL THEY ARE DOING WITH THEIR FOOL SELVES OUT ON THE ROADS IN THE DAMN RAIN!!)---- and you are basically wasting all of our time giving us the same information that we've heard a zillion times, over and over, every single solitary time there's a spring thunderstorm---as if we'd never seen a damn rain storm in this area, GEEZ--OH-MAN!

I mean, for God's sakes! Literally every durn time there are rainy
weather conditions which could result in thunderstorms, hail, straight-line winds or tornadoes---within a 50-mile radius, mind you!---your television station's weather person interrupts all programming and gives a detailed lesson on:

1. How such weather conditions can result in hail; (WE KNOW THIS ALREADY!)

2. How such weather conditions could result in a tornado; (WE KNOW THIS ALREADY, TOO, YOU IDGITY YAY-HOO!)

3. How large any resultant hail could get; (YOU'RE NEVER CORRECT ABOUT THE SIZE OF THE HAIL---AND HAIL IS HAIL, DAMMIT!!)

4. What the trajectory of the
weather front could be; (even though EVERYBODY around here with even half a brain knows that most weather fronts around here travel from west to north, or from west to northeast, or sometimes from west to southeast);

5. What a tornado looks like; (JIMINY CRICKETS AND FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY, WE ALL KNOW WHAT A FRIGGING TORNADO LOOKS LIKE, DAMMIT!!!)

6. Where your weather spotters are (WE DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS!)

7. What your stupid intern is doing (out in the parking lot collecting hail in your pocketbook like you asked her to do when you didn't know the microphone was still on, stupid!...); (AND, AGAIN, WE DON'T GIVE A RAT'S PATOOTY ABOUT WHAT IDIOTIC MUNDANE TASK YOUR DUMB-DORA INTERN IS DOING ANY MORE THAN WE CARE ABOUT WHAT YOUR IDGITY INSANE WEATHER SPOTTERS ARE DOING!!)

....Oh, and it goes on and on and on, ad nauseum....with even MORE info that we couldn't give a tinker's damn about!

(Are you getting the picture?)

I know that you're probably thinking that all the information you give is USEFUL and GOOD for a person to know in case they're in the path of a storm--- BUT WAIT.... because you have to remember that these "weather lessons" are being given to people who live in....wait for it .....KANSAS and MISSOURI!!! YES! In
frigging TORNADO ALLEY, for Christ's sakes!

Hello? Hello? THIS IS ROUTINE WEATHER HERE, you Dumb-Bunnies!!

Sigh.... For crying out loud, providing us these so-called weather 'teachings' during such routine spring storms is about as ridiculous and condescending as explaining the definition of a hurricane to people who live in Cuba or the Carribbean! Or pontificating about how the San Andreas Fault influences earthquakes to people who live in dadgum San Francisco! Or explaining rainfall to people who live in Seattle! Or fog to people in London!.....

Have I made myself clear?

Thus, my message to the guilty
television channel program managers is this:

Please, in the future, STOP "TRAINING" US ON WEATHER 101.... because believe me--- as Kansas residents, we already know all the dang answers!!!

PLEASE! Only spend a few minutes on weather--- with frequent updates, of course---and thereafter simply utilize notification "banners" at the bottom or the top of the screen for ongoing coverage. Because we are dang TIRED of missing our favorite television shows to get a repetitive lesson on the myriad of possibilities which severe weather conditions could engender---BECAUSE WE KNOW THIS CRAP ALREADY, THANK YOU VERY DANG MUCH!

Otherwise, we are going to CHANGE THE CHANNEL---FOR GOOD.

(Sorry for the capitals, but I feel strongly about what I'm saying.)

Thank you,

Bo

(After I wrote my "complaint email" and punched the "Send" button, I braved the storm outside to go check on my precious baby birdies...... and they were fine. Mama Birdie was faithfully and steadfastly sitting on the nest, protectively covering her babies--- protecting them from the rainstorm, even though she herself was dripping wet in the driving rain. Good for her, the dear little thing! Bless her little heart!! Anyway, the below picture of the two babies is one I captured a couple days ago using Brian's sister's camera, which is a much better camera than mine. Heck, it's a 'National Geographic' quality camera....)

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(I will try to hold my temper in check in the future....)

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3 comments:

Linda in Alameda, CA said...

Bo - I fully understand. I live in the San Francisco CA bay area, and every time we have a minor earthquake, within 300 miles of here, the news people interrupt regular programming to announce the fact, to interview people who felt it, to interview people who didn't feel it, and to remind us of every earthquake this area has ever suffered, including the "big one" in April of 1906. This drivel goes on for hours! Good for you for complaining!

Knitman said...

Oh so you have it too? I sympathise. I almost disappointed when the dire warnings turn out to be trickle and a slight blow.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

LOL! I SO agree.

I went to medical school in Nebraska, and this drove me NUTS.

I didn't have much time to relax and watch TV, anyway, and when I did it invariably had several interruptions to reports POSSIBLE hurricane, rain, snow, locusts, etc.