Friday, April 10, 2009
Hippity Hoppity, All The Way Down The Damn Green Bean Trail....
* Okay..... deep breath here.... But you know, sometimes I reach the point where I just want to stand on my rooftop and scream out to the cosmos.... I want to scream out the universal, never ending, quintessential, penultimate (and so forth) question... I want to know, by God! WHY, Lord, WHY? WHY? I repeat--- why???? Why is it that for every single dang holiday family dinner I get
ordered assigned to make the damn Green Bean Casserole?
Why can't I make something else for Easter Dinner?
Is this all because of that regrettable Cilantro Incident?
I mean, I've been assigned to make the stupid Green Bean Casserole for Blaine's family holiday dinners since 1993. Why can't I make something else? Would it tear a hole in the universe if I made the scalloped potatoes? Would it rend the fabric of the space/time continuum if I made the ham? Would it cause an international incident if I made the hot rolls? Would it worsen the national debt if I made the chocolate cake? Would it ruin political relations with Canada and Mexico if I made the marshmellowed yams?
Would it upset the ecology of the 2 million acres of Kansas wheat fields if I made the dadgum salad?
I ask you, WHY?