Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Red Sky at Night, Sailor's Delight....

*

WOW! I made it to Grand Rounds!

I am very honored to be included in today's Grand Rounds over at Rickety Contrivances of Doing Good! Thank you so much over there---you made my day!

There is tons of great reading over there, everybody---check it out!

And also......I have some other news......

THE JEEP LIVES!!

Yeah, Baby---- and Hot Diggity!

That stupid Message Goat had everybody so worried. (He always was a dang pessimist.) But even the Texas Highway Patrol Man (who pulled over to see if I was okay when I broke down on the side of the Interstate) thought that the Jeep was finished---he thought that I'd "cracked the head" on the Jeep (whatever that means).

But they were both wrong!

Which means that I finally got one over on the Message Goat, HEH!

Actually, I wish I could get one over on that Highway Patrol Man. Because when he first pulled up to where I stood crying by the Jeep, smoke billowing out of it's hood, he rolled down his window--- and well, I couldn't help it.... but I....er... started bawling for real ( now that I had an audience) with one long wail: "WWHHAAAAAAA!"

And do you know what that dang Highway Patrol Man did? The guy who's supposed to rescue damsels in distress on the roadside? The protector of all things which occur on the particular piece of the Interstate Highway that passes through this part of Texas?

He burst into laughter.

Yes. He did. He actually laughed. So I told him sassily to "Go on, then, if you cain't do anything but laugh at me---this Jeep is how I make my living---and I love it with all my heart."

In between his guffaws, snorts, and chuckles, he asked me if I had called anybody for help and I said yes, that my secretary was on her way at this minute. I sat there continuing to bawl my eyes out at him, telling him the whole sad story, hoping for sympathy, but all he finally stated was: "If you drove it hot, you probably cracked the head and it's a goner", which didn't cheer me up AT ALL. And then he remarked: "Uum, ma'am? Would you mind--- since you've got help on the way and all--- would you mind if I leave now and go pull over that speeder that just passed us like a bat out of hell?"

"Oh why no, sir!" I replied sarcastically, still bawling--irked at him leaving me. Hell, I wanted to bawl some more. "Not at all!" I continued in what I hoped was my best martyr voice. "Sure....just go and leave me on the side of the road with smoke coming out of my Jeep.....and me bawling without even a dadgum Kleenex...."

And sure enough, he drove on to pull over the hapless speeder. But then a man in a white Chevy pickup truck came by and stopped. So I bawled at him, too. He asked: "Do you have someone coming for you?" I replied yes and then he said: "If you drove it hot, then you probably cracked the head and it's a total wash. But get it fixed anyway so that you'll have some trade-in value, at least, when you have to get a new vehicle." And then he drove off, too!

Dang it! NOBODY would let be BAWL at them!

Anyway, to make a long story short, the owners of my company loaned me a "work car" from one of their other business's, a Toyota Echo, to use while my Jeep was at the mechanic's. But I was like a fish out of water in that car. I never could figure out how to use the dang thing. All the buttons were in the wrong places. And it drove so low to the ground that I felt like I was gliding along the ground and had to look up at everybody. And I couldn't see anything backwards or fowards when I tried to change lanes. I was just too used to sitting up high off the road in my Jeep, which sits me as high as the bigger pickup trucks and allows me to survey the entire road for 3 miles in front of me and in back. And I didn't dare take the little Echo to ranch country and tear it up on those rock dirt roads. It was just too delicate. But it did get good mileage and seemed to try hard..... But anyway, I finally got the Jeep back today and proved everybody wrong---the dang head was NOT cracked and I got away with a $1600 mechanic's bill instead of a $2,000 to $4,000 bill---and so the Jeep is well and healthy, yahoo!

In fact, I was so excited when I got my beloved Jeep back from the mechanic that I went to the Message Goat's pasture and leaned over his fence and said: "Na-na-na-nanny goat---my mechanic fixed the Jeep. And it runs better now than it ever did, heh!"

(Get it? "Nanny Goat"? Get it?)

(As you can see, nothing has changed in regards to my bad jokes....but it was the only thing I could think of at the moment to jeer at him. And surprisingly, even the donkeys took my side of things for once.)

(And yes, I did stick my waggling fingers into my ears while sticking my tongue out as I sassed the Message Goat, but only for a minute since the Message Goat has been known to head-butt somebody who annoys him clear into the middle of next week...)

(And, as usual after I jeer at the Message Goat, he simply did his usual haughty thing when proven wrong---he turned his back on me and walked away --- acting as if he hadn't even heard me---but trust me, he did.)

And another thing---the next dang time I see all of those Highway Patrol Men in their ten-gallon cowboy hats eating lunch at Aunt May-Mee's Luncheon Diner on Chicken & Dumpling Day, I'm going to tell every last one of them that I'm going to spread the news all over Podunk that drivers can all speed FREELY during the hour of 12 pm to 1 pm because that's when every single Highway Patrol Man in a three county radius is eating at Aunt May-Mee's Luncheon Diner---making it a whole dang hour that everybody and their brother can drag-race, speed, or tailgate to their heart's content!

But anyway----I'm so excited! Because it's true, it's oh so true! My beloved Jeep didn't fail me. It rallied under my mechanics delicate touch---and so I'm back on the road again, madly yelling my Rebel Yell out the window:

"YEEEEE---HAAHH!!!!"

*

By the way:

Coming Soon---Update on Mr. Kessel. (And I think you'll be surprised....)

*

12 comments:

Duckie said...

Yay! you're jeep is back! Congrats!

Susan Palwick said...

Hurray for the jeep! And I can't wait to hear about Mr. Kessel. And thanks for linking to Grand Rounds, and for the great submission!

Paula said...

WTG jeepy!! Congrats on your recovery. Now, take good care of your best friend Bo. You owe her big time.

mielikki said...

well score one for the Jeep. No one should EVER count a Jeep as down and out, because they always come back and prove them wrong!

danielle said...

YAY!!!!
No take care of you Jeep and dont abuse her anymore....or she wont be resuscitated next time!!!

lheiserman said...

Men just don't account for the prayer factor when it comes to vehicles. Women totally get it, especially single women.

And the message goat - a guy.

Glad the jeep is working!

Warrior Knitter said...

Yea! for your Jeep! I hear ya about "low" cars. I don't have a jeep but I have small Mazda truck and I can see so much better in it than I can in hubby's Buick.

I LOVE your stories. You tell them so well. It's like we're sittin' around having pie and coffee and conversation.

Lisa said...

So glad to hear that the message goat was wrong! Hurray for the Jeep!

Be careful and get her checked on more often so you will have her even longer!

T-Mom said...

Congratulations on the survival of your Jeep!

I drove my brother's way-macho Chevy Silverado pickup for 12 years and then this van for 10, and when I thought I was looking for new wheels I looked at some sedans, but man, you're low to the ground in those things. Scares me to death.

Looking forward to hearing about Mr. Kessel.

poody said...

Glad to hear the buggy is back up and running but that bill was high dollar for sure. I had a breakdown this weekend at my first pts. house. I had to call my cousin to come get me and take me around to see my AM diabetics. I ended up getting a rental car and having it towed to the shop. All in all it cost me almost $500 and the pisser of it was it was only the battery that was dead. Dnag between the tow fee and the rental I figured I made about $300 dollars doing the visits and $500 for the car stuff so I worked all weekend and still came up $200 in the hole! I am off to the Oklahomea border this weekend to fish on the Red River and relax at a friend's cabin!

Philippine said...

Hi guys, visit http://nursereview.org/, very useful source for nurses.
And also anyone who wants to link exchange, just email me: filipinonurse@gmail.com

Jay Cam said...

Way to go jeep!

Btw... Would you like trade links to increase both of ours site's traffic? My site is http://jaysmoney.blogspot.com

If would like to, post my link -> http://jaysmoney.blogspot.com <- then comment me back or contact me at greeksmoney@yahoo.com and i will post yours on my site under "Related Sites" or "Supporters" as a permanent link.

I would appreciate the help as my site is relatively new and could use the help to increase traffic.