Thursday, August 23, 2007

Announcement From the Message Goat....

*

Ahem?

I said, AHEM??

Thank you.

This is your Message Goat speaking, with an announcement about The Bohemian Road Nurse.

It seems that Bo experienced that dreaded event--- a situation feared by every Road Nurse in the world....

A breakdown.

Yes, it's true. Bo's beloved Jeep broke down while Bo was out in cow country seeing patients.

I will allow Bo to tell you the story herself, but I simply cannot help myself in that I simply MUST reveal the part about the whole thing that cracks me up the most. (Sorry, I just can't help it---it's simply too funny for me to resist this small indiscretion...)

But it seems that when Bo's beloved Jeep broke down and she had to leave it behind on a lonely highway, her secretary raced post-haste to rescue her and bring a very stricken and worried Bo back to the office. And then, of course, Bo frantically called her mechanic. (Yes, folks, the very same mechanic who always nags Bo about being late for the Jeep's quarterly service appointments and that neglected brake job.)

And then... heh! ...I can't hardly say it without laughing folks----because I really wish that you could have seen her face!----(and PLEASE don't tell Bo I told you this)....

...but when Bo sheepishly called her mechanic and explained just exactly what happened with the Jeep that day.....

...and she described to him about how she had "valiently" tried to drive it back to Podunk to her mechanic (instead of stopping at the first sign of trouble like she should have).... (and she also conveniently left out the part about screaming into the cell phone at her hapless secretary that "GOD HELP ME, BUT I'M COMIN' IN WITH THE DANG JEEP BILLOWING SMOKE OUT OF ITS DAMN HOOD!" ).....

...and then Bo stupidly and foolishly admitted to her VERY STRICT mechanic that she had broken one of the STRICTEST of the Mechanic's Commandments by driving the Jeep when the temperature indicator was ALL THE WAY TO THE RIGHT on the "hottest of hot setting" in order to, again, "make it back to Podunk".....

...and then Bo told him how smoke had billowed out from under the Jeep's hood---(and yet she again conveniently left out the part about how she had STILL kept driving onwards with that smoke coming out the Jeep, trying to tell her stupid self that "maybe the smoke was simply steam rising from the Jeep's hot hood in the cool dewy morning" ).....

And then....(and here comes the funny part).....after listening to Bo's sob story, the VERY STRICT mechanic's first words to Bo were: "Let us pray to the Lord..."

And I'm telling you that the look on Bo's face when he said that CRACKED YOUR MESSAGE GOAT UP! Because EVERYBODY in the whole wide world knows that when your mechanic starts talking about "prayin' to The Lord" ....it's because you're totally SCREWED! HEH!

If you could have seen her tune up and start bawling, you would not have been able to keep a straight face!

(Okay, okay, perhaps I'm a mean old Message Goat, but I've got to get my jollies somehow. And give me a break---I've had to suffer through her stupid pecadilloes for quite some time, now--- and sometimes I feel like snatching her bald, ya know?)

But I guess I won't tell you about the Highway Patrolman Incident, as I'm sure Bo will.

Anyway, that is all from your Message Goat today. As per the usual routine, there will be refreshments in the back pasture.

Thank you.

5 comments:

Not Nurse Ratched said...

Hey Bo: you've been tagged...http://notratched.wordpress.com/2007/08/23/tagged-and-tired/

:)

LesleyD said...

OH no!!! I'm so sorry that the jeep bit the dust hun!! Big Hugs to you!!! I hope you find a suitable replacement!!

poody said...

I hate hate hate cars. When I win the dang lottery I am never ever driving or having anything to do with cars other than crawling in the back seat and being driven around by a half naked adonis by the name of Carlos or maybe Paolo!

Kim said...

Was it a DNR?

How does one code a jeep?

May it rest in peace. : )

Bohemian Road Nurse... said...

Kim:

No way did I sign a DNR no-code order! Heh! I want my Jeep "coded" and healed!

(That is totally funny! Coding a Jeep!)

I asked my mechanic to use: Dobuta-wrench, Dopa-gear, and (if it's a dire situation) Levo-pliers!

And then of course, they can always hook up the battery cables and shock it with 360 joules of Exxon's Tiger in Your Tank energy!

And....I'm waiting patiently in the Mechanic Surgery Waiting Room until Monday to hear the Final Diagnosis.....

So stay tuned-up.... (get it? Stay "tuned"?)

(me and my bad jokes...)