OK, So It's The Thought---Not the Christmas Gift.....

*

One the First Day of Christmas,

My True Love Gave to Me.....

("The Twelve Days of Christmas")

*

It seemed like a good idea at the time, ya know?

Have you ever thought of a really great idea and then it.....well....it turned out to be the stupidest thing you've ever done?

Well that happened to me one Christmas, years before I met Blaine. I was dating another guy, a financial analyst for Price Waterhouse I think. Anyway, he was a nice guy. And he invited me to spend Christmas with his family in California since my parents were out of the country.

Now understand, I had been racking my brains for weeks trying to figure out what to get him for Christmas. I thought and thought but couldn't think of what to get him. So I mentally went through the list of his interests. He liked Elvis Costello music, he liked a particular restaurant because of their excellent nachos and salsa, he liked playing darts, but he REALLY loved football. That boy was constantly watching football games---any football game. He was totally addicted to watching football.

Anyhoo, one day, as I was thumbing through a magazine, I saw an ad for a telephone shaped like a football---and I thought EUREKA!!!!!

I would get him the telephone shaped like a football!! So I ordered it and received it. I was gleeful! My problem was solved---and he would love it! So I wrapped it prettily in a box with ribbons and bows.

So we went to California to spend Christmas with his folks. He had two brothers near his age. And his mother, a wonderful woman from India, was a City Planner. His father was a lawyer, a District Attorney for their city. And my boyfriend's mother's mother couldn't speak English very well but she was a truly sweet woman. She was delighted when I was able to say a few things to her in Hindi which I learned while I was in boarding school in India.

Anyway, on Christmas Day there were literally a couple hundred presents under the Christmas tree, what with their large family and a bunch of their friends also attending. And I was grinning like a Cheshire Cat in delightful anticipation of when my boyfriend would open his present from me.

One by one the presents were opened. And then they handed my boyfriend's present to me. I opened it---and it was a very expensive watch....and then it hit me...

Oh. My. God.

Because suddenly a light bulb went off above my head and I realized my gift to him was absolutely ridiculous. A telephone shaped like a football? Hells bells but it was one of the stupidest things I had ever done. I was utterly mortified. And I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole to save me from sitting there with a fake smile on my face while dreading the time when my boyfriend would open my gift. Oh the humanity of it all!! My gift would look like a turd next to the golden watch he had given me!

Sure enough, the time came when he was handed my gift. I held my breath as he smiled while opening it. And then.... when he saw what it was.... a totally confused (and slightly shocked) look came over his face that said it all. He hated it.

"Um....", I offered shakily. "It... uh... it even has the stickers of all the teams so that you can...uh....you can put the sticker of your favorite team on it if you want..."

*

*