Friday, November 20, 2009

The LYS Who Shall Not Be Named...

*

NOTE: To anybody who wishes to comment, I'm going to be on the trian for about 24 hours--- but I will print your comments as soon as I arrive at my mother's home. Thanks---

Okay, I am irked. And you tell me if I was out of line.....

I'm on a Kauni kick and I want to take some with me on my trip to Texas & Louisiana. I want to start another cardigan, in a completely different color scheme than the one I just finished. And although I have plenty of the EQ (the multi-colored colorway), I want to use a completely different colorway--- for a completely different type cardigan. Since I have a lot of the color ET, the purple/black/grey one, I decided on that. But I wasn't sure I had enough.

There's a local LYS near here, in Olathe, and they are the only one of the three LYS's in this area that carries Kauni, albeit their stock of colors is limited. So I went down there to look for what I needed. The reason I knew they had Kauni is that I had bought some of the EQ there recently on a yarn-petting venture.

So I went back to them, looking for the ET color. They didn't have any ET, but they did have a couple of skeins of a similar colorway, one which is black/light gray/dark gray. So I grabbed a skein of that, intending to use it for the cardigan's ribbing, buttonbands, and collar.

And then, once I got home, I got to thinking--- like I usually do when I get home from an LYS---and I decided I wanted one more skein of the yarn for "insurance", to ensure, without a shadow of a doubt, that I'd have enough yarn to finish the sweater. I frequently buy too much yarn for my projects but I figure it's better to be safe than sorry, right? And I knew that the LYS had one more skein of that colorway.

And I felt a little urgent about it since there was only one more skein of that color left at the LYS; thus, I wanted to hurry up and grab that skein before it was bought by somebody else. And furthermore, I remembered that Blaine was going down that way in a little while to take his niece to a volleyball game. So I decided I would ask him to stop by the LYS to pick up the skein.

And here is where I made my first mistake.

I called the LYS.

When a lady answered, I asked if she would set aside that particular skein of the Kauni for me, while explaining that I would send Blaine to get it. She said okay.

Then..... I made my second mistake.

I realized that, having been to that LYS recently, buying yarn that Blaine knew nothing about--- (I had hidden it in the Magical Closet)--- that if Blaine went there he might.... er... find out about the fact that I had been there recently buying bunches of yarn that he knew nothing about. And Blaine tends to harp loudly and endlessly about how I have "too much yarn" and that I "waste entirely too much money" on adding to my ever-growing stash--- and I really wanted to avoid such soliloquies....

Ergo.... I didn't want the LYS to blow my cover. Surely you can see what I mean? One wrong word to Blaine in there and the jig would be up. I wanted Blaine to think that the yarn skein he was picking up for me was just a lone skein that I needed to finish a project--- and not part of a greater Kauni conspiracy.

So I jokingly requested the following of the lady who answered the phone:

"Hey... uh.... I know this sounds crazy... but... uh... when Blaine comes in there to pick up that skein of Kauni, could you.... uh.... heh....could you kind of NOT mention to him that I've been in there lately, buying some other Kauni yarn?"

And then there was a long, silent pause on the other end of the phone.

I wondered if the lady had accidentally hung up the phone.

So I repeated myself.

"Um... you know.... it's just that he nags me a lot about buying too much yarn, ya know what I mean? And ...uh.... I sometimes buy yarn and .... and.... I hide it. You know the score... where you hide the yarn somewhere and just pull it out later--- like it's been there all along? And then he's none the wiser, thinking the yarn was old yarn? You know?.... huh?....you know what I mean?"

But the blasted woman STILL wouldn't say anything!

"Are you still there?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm here," she replied in a snotty voice. "But if he asks me straight out, I am NOT going to lie to him."

WHAT THE HELL?????

What kind of sanctimonious idgit was this? Is she mad? Doesn't she know that approximately 45% of yarn sales in the United States of America are bought on the sly--- hidden from husbands who nag a woman about buying too much yarn? Hell, a hateful turncoat like her could ruin it for the rest of us stealth-yarn-buyers!

And for crying out loud, all I meant was for her to NOT OFFER the information that I'd been there recently. It wasn't like I was asking her to lie under oath, under penalty of perjury, to a Clinton-esqe Congressional Impeachment Hearing, if you know what I mean.

("No, Your Honors, I did not sell yarn to THAT WOMAN!!)

I was so mad that I decided to take the bull by the horn.

I hopped into the pickup truck and blasted my way down to see this stupid, traitor LYS woman, completely forgetting that I was wearing sloppy, raggedy sweat pants and a "Hooters" sweatshirt. When I arrived at the LYS I strode in, picked up the skein of Kauni, and then went to pay. There was a smiling lady at the cash register.

"Are you the lady I spoke to on the phone about the Kauni?" I asked.

"Um.... no....it was somebody else," she replied, somewhat uncomfortably.

"Well then, let me tell you that she was entirely RUDE to me," I exclaimed. "And because of her I don't think I'm ever coming back here!"

And then the lady lowered her voice, obviously in an attempt to keep a group of nearby employees from hearing (but I know they heard anyway), and she replied, very sincerely: "Truly.... I am sooooo sorry about that...."

So I paid for my Kauni and politely bid her goodbye.

(I was hoping she'd say something else so I could yell: "I SAID GOODBYE!" a la Fez in the TV show "That 70's Show" , but she didn't.)

(But I have always wanted to use that line....)

Well.... so now I can't go back there because I threatened to never go back because of that rude woman. I don't care. I can order any color and any amount of Kauni anytime I want from Astrid, although I'd have to pay shipping for it, which is kind of a downer but I'll sacrifice. And for all other kinds of yarns there are two way better LYS's around here that have a much wider selection of all other yarns--- and nicer employees.

So HHHMPH on her!

Hey.....I've got an idea! Remember that "Seinfeld" episode where Elaine was treated rudely in a store? She then went to a rival store, bought a bunch of their stuff, and then went back to the original store and pranced around outside their windows, holding up all the stuff she bought, in order to gloat to them about how much money they "lost" by irritating her.

So that's it! I'll go to Yarn Barn in Lawrence, buy a bunch of Cascade 220, and then return to the Olathe LYS where I'll wave all the Cascade 220 over my head in front of their windows, yelling taunting epithets like: "See how much yarn I bought from a NICE LYS? See how much business you lost, Rude Woman? A pox on you!!"

No?

Well, it was just a thought....

*

*

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

Obviously she has ethics that are different than yours. You think it is OK to lie to your husband, and she does not. Why is she wrong and why are you right? The "because everybody else does it" argument doesn't hold water, not everybody else does it, and when some do it doesn't make it any more right.

While you are hiding from your problems this holiday you may want to spend some time thinking about how you behave, both at home and out in public.

Bo... said...

And I think that while I'm having the time of my life with my family this holiday that you ought to try and get that stick out of your ass.

Abzygirl said...

And a particularly stiff stick it appears to be too.

Abzygirl said...

And a particularly stiff stick it appears to be too.

Bo... said...

Thank you, abzygirl!

corinne said...

Webs (www.yarn.com) located in Ma. has kauni.

Corinne

corinne said...

Webs (www.yarn.com) located in Ma carries Kauni.

Corinne

Anonymous said...

That's not nice. Sometimes, constructive criticism is a good thing to consider.

Maybe it's better to not alienate those who do things you don't like occasionally. Maybe the person was having a bad day, or there was a misunderstanding. That doesn't make her universally rude and mean...Perhaps you should take a step back, and give people the benefit of the doubt. The upside? Being able to go back to a great yarn store.

meredithbohdan@yahoo.com

Bo... said...

Thank you, Corinne!!

Anonymous said...

I think maybe you should have just asked her not to volunteer any information about previous purchases. If your husband straight out asked her, I would not expect her to lie. But I think she could have handled it better... and maybe you could have too.

No win situation here

Anonymous said...

BOTH of my LYS stores have signs that say "Your husband called, he said you can buy whatever you want."

They also have fantastic customer service! I was in there with the husband the other day, kinda nervous cuz i had been in there the day before. And Sue at the counter said "its not like she buys yarn every DAY!" to the grumbling husband.

I wouldnt go back to that store, either. OR if you do, only allow yourself to be helped by the lady that apologized, and be vocal about it. "YOU are the only nice one in here, can YOU help me?"

~jennifer

Bo... said...

Thank you, Jennifer!! I'll do that!

Anonymous said...

Bo, I think the salesperson was right not to compromise her personal integrity to accomodate your childish request. Your request put her in an awkward position and she did not deserve it. Please try to think of someone else for a change, would you?

Bo... said...

You're an idiot. It was NOT a childish request. All I asked was for her to NOT OFFER the information that I'd been there recently. Yes, yes, I know---you're a member of Yarn Harlot's "We Hate Bo" club. Had Yarn Harlot done the same thing, you'd have been indignant as hell about the salesperson's rudeness. For Christ sakes, all he salesperson had to say was something goodnatured like: "Mum's the word!" You people turn everything I do into a damn morals challenge. You, too, need to get that stick out of your ass.

Anonymous said...

Maybe people turn everything you do into a "morals challenge" because you're so morally challenged?

Anonymous said...

Oh, simmer down. YH has NOTHING to do with this and you know it. Just take responsibility for your actions and move on with your life...

Bo... said...

It has EVERYTHING to do with Yarn Harlot. You assholes never commented rudely on my blog until July, when I had that dust-up with her---AND YOU KNOW IT. Face it, you small-minded Yarn Harlot groupies got mad at me because I had the audacity to criticize her, and you have nit-picked me ever since. If I fart wrong you guys are on me like white on rice. So why don't you do me a favor and go worship at the alter of your precious Yarn Harlot instead of trying to make me out to be a frigging criminal because of my exchange with that uptight frump of a battle-axe at the LYS?

Bo... said...

But I guess I should be flattered that you guys are so fascinated with me! Admit it--you are. I guess that is because this blog is honest and "real"---unlike some people's sugar-coated pablum.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, your blog is real, alright. Real CRAZY! Hahahahahaha!

Bo... said...

My blog crazy? Well what does that say about the fact that YOU read it?

Anonymous said...

Oh dear. I was so hoping this would not turn in to a YH thing.

Bo... said...

The proof that it has everything to do with YH is because, as I said before, these rude commenters began their witch-hunt ONLY AFTER there was that incident where I criticized YH. Before that, none of these people ever haunted my blog and visciously criticized every damn thing I do or say.\

Personally, I also think they are jealous of me and my life.

Anonymous said...

Well, they probably did start reading you after the YH thing. But it is not like she is sending them here. Just don't engage and they eventually will go away. But when you bite at every bait they throw out, they ARE going to keep throwing bait.

Just a thought.

Mary said...

I love your blog. You make me laugh right out loud and feel so good. You are so creative. It is wonderful to see. I too finally had it with the local yarn shop and now shop exclusively online.

Bo... said...

Thank you, Mary!!

danielle said...

I guess there was a breakdown in communication - you were asking her not to mention/bring up the fact that you are a frequent customer - she thought you were asking her to outright lie to her. I would like to think that my shopping habits are my private business for me and only me to talk about - and not for the clerks/owners to talk about/gossip to people that they would only assume is someone they could talk about it to...after all, how could she prove that the person she is talking about your private business to is really your husband????

Bo... said...

Thank you, you are totally correct, Danielle!

#8 said...

Bo- Like someone else said, YH isn't sending people here,they came to know of you since the "incident". The fall out from that is you have more readers. You can't blame her forever, geeez. Bury the hatchet already. You have your own fan club now. You still post and you let the comments come through and since I am pretty sure you aren't stupid, I have to assume you revel in the fight(or should that be Rebel???).

About the LYS-You had a 50/50 chance that would happen, if I had answered the phone, I would have totally been cool with that request. It's not up to me to tattle on the people buying my yarn.

happy thanksgiving
#8

Anonymous said...

You still haven't answered the original questions. Why is she wrong? Why are you right?

I'll add some more: why do you think it is OK for you to pick apart YH, but it's not OK for others to pick you apart? Why is everything the fault of someone else? Is everybody else crazy, leaving you the lonely-only sane island in the world?

Anonymous said...

It's not a YH thing. That just pointed people in the direction of your blog (fyi, I'm not a YH groupie...) and I, for one, keep coming back - it is like rubbernecking a car crash. It appears that you enjoy bringing trouble down on yourself. All the anger and animosity (not to mention swearing) can't be good for your heath. For your sake, relax. It's not all personal, you know.
Anon as I don't have any of the accounts specified, and I can't be bothered to sign up.

Bo... said...

Thanks, #8. (I love that-- #8 -- that's cool.)

Bo... said...

To the above Anonymous---LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY--YOU'RE DRIVING ME NUTS. And YOU are the insane one, not me. And by the way, this is my blog and I don't have to answer any of your damn questions!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, i think that woman in the shop could have handled that situation a whole lot better - while yarn buying isn't exactly legal advice or medical treatment the customer should be entitled to privacy.

Also, had I been the salesperson on the phone and I had been told exactly what you typed here I wouldn't be revealing anything at all about your yarn buying habits.

Taken out of context (us regular readers know your husband and yourself have stuff you disagree on, no biggie) it sounds like an unhealthy relationship. It's not the place of a yarn store clerk to be informing on spouses to each other - I would comfortably have fudged the truth and dodged an outright lie.

Susan

hope you have a pleasant journey back from Thanksgiving.

Anonymous said...

yarn and fiber also carries it.

Anonymous said...

So, Bo please stop farting wrong so people can quit jumping on you like white on rice... striaghten up and fart right!

Daniel said...

Why couldn't it have been suggested to just paid for it over the phone, had her wrap it up in a bag and put you name on it so when he stopped in, no transaction would need to take place and he could get in, get out. Seems like it could have saved time and the possibility of awkwardness. Just an idea.

Bo... said...

You're probably right, Daniel. I will admit to being a little....shall we... say "overly dramatic" sometimes. Ah well, I promise that I'll go in there and apologize at some point.

Anonymous said...

"You're obsessed with Yarn Harlot!" Looks like someone's projecting a little, don't you think?