A storm is brewing, as you can see by the above picture of the clouds circling Podunk....
Well, I finally got the new computer up and running correctly, albeit with a lot of gnashing of teeth and cussing.....
And everybody's suggestions did help! (Except, of course, the ones about buying a Mac, as I can't afford to do that right now--but believe me, I will consider that option next time I've got the cash...)
And then also, I will confess, that I also found out during the course of the whole sorry mess, that I had one of my plugs stuck in the wrong hole--- so I'm partially at fault on the sound issue.
(I feel better now that I've confessed about that matter---but I'm still not taking back ANY of my insults about Bill Gates because I definitely feel that he foisted the "Vista" operating system onto the world before it was "user friendly", okay?)
Anyhoo, I finally got all my computer's attachments (digital camera, iPod, etc) working, and I also have sound in its speakers and sub-woofer. So I'm back in business. Except......
I'm in one of my Blue Funk moods, drat it all....
And as a result of my Blue Funk mood, I've been discouraged, I've been crabby, I've been sassin' doctors, I've been making "comments" on medical blogs whereby I've done the blogosphere equivalent of "snatching people bald"----and I've, in general, been a giant poop. And the Midol didn't help.
Ah, but it's a terrible thing when a road nurse is in a Blue Funk. She searches, she ponders, she cries, she wonders, and she frets......she wants nothing more than to make the world a right place again.....but sometimes the solutions are far from apparent.....
I suppose I could make excuses and say it's only natural because of all the ups and downs my company office has been through since December.
First, Lu-Lu's demise---leaving the office in chaos whereby the owners appointed me the boss. Then Jane-Anne's diabetes kicked into high gear, especially after she got pregnant, which promptly put her into the hospital. Then I had to fire two people (one of who I really cared about)---but then I was able to hire two people in their place (both I really care about).
And then the dadgum hospital bought our building! The nerve. And so NOW we have to move our office to another building next weekend---what a pain in the behind.
What's worse is that, ever since they made me Branch Manager my road trips to see patients are less frequent than they used to be since I must now devote a lot of my time to my managerial (aka "office") duties.
This is the worst punishment---because, as you know, one of the most important Rules of a Road Nurse is:
A Road Nurse Must Be Free.....
And I haven't been all that "free" lately. Belinda's been doing my field work. Because I've been tied to the office a lot getting ready for our upcoming move and the training of the new employees. And also, I've been spending a lot of time fretting and worrying about the future, with questions such as:
"How am I going to get this office running efficiently after all these personnel changes---especially with two pregnant nurses?"
(Just the other day I had to rush out of the office to the aid of Belinda, who had nearly fainted while driving. She did manage to pull over to the side of the road to avoid an accident and was able to weakly call me on the cell phone. I rushed out of the office in a blind panic and went to find her. She was weak from not having eaten any breakfast, and one of her "pregnancy migraines" had set in, making her feel faint and unable to see. I sat there and fed her apple juice, took her blood pressure and blood sugar, and then drove her to a place where I made her eat some lunch. She felt better in awhile and was able to continue with her day, despite my insistence that she go home and to bed....)
"How am I going to come up with ideas to build the census of patients with all the competition of other road nurse companies?"
"What if something happens to one of Belinda's or Jane-Anne's unborn babies in their frail health?"
"How am I going to meet the Owners' expectations of stepping up to the plate, which means catching up on all the past backlog of work in our office that Geena-Lou and my ex-secretary didn't do for the last three months--- and turn things around into a efficiently-run office after they and Lu-Lu pretty much ran it into the ground?"
"How am I going to keep my promises to Belinda and Bonnie that I'll provide them with a better workplace than we all used to suffer at our former road nurse companies?"
"What if everything blows up in my face and I'm a failure?"
"I've got seven employees (two of them pregnant) depending on me to keep their jobs safe...."
Anyhoo, I know I made a promise on here--that I would sing a song for all the good advice I received from you wonderful people for my computer woes. And I'm in the mood to sing, anyway, because of my Blue Funk Mood.
And so, in keeping with my promise (and also because of my Blue Funk about my career frettings) I'm going to sing y'all the "Borrowed Road Nurse Song".
I say it's the "Road Nurse Song" because all road nurses have one they sing, either out loud or subconsciously, on the road. And I say that it's "borrowed" because most of us borrow our songs from our memories of other songwriters' songs. (Maybe some road nurses make their own up, but I've never met one. Usually road nurses use one that's already made up and simply fits the bill, ya know?)
Mine is borrowed from the movie, "The Sound of Music".
It is the song I sing in my pitiful heart whenever I am sad, happy, morose, discouraged, frightened, melancholy, feeling tragic or hopeless, feeling thankful to the Lord, or any other emotion which besets or overcomes me while on the road---and causes a need for my psyche to give my feelings an outlet somehow--- instead of percolating malignantly in my pea-brain.....
Ask any road nurse..... and she'll tell you.....that the longings and yearnings of her live, beating heart drum along with the song she sings as she drives the road on her daily rounds.....
Over the weekend, I was feeling just such a sadness and melancholia about all the problems and changes in my job that I just described above----and so I drove around yesterday, taking pictures......
And so I sang my song...... my heart bursting with love with each picture I snapped of my beloved home as I belted out the words of my particular "borrowed song".....
....and I thought of all you guys as I sang the song--- and how much I wish I could take each and every one of you along with me in my battered Jeep, showing you my territory, introducing you to my beloved friends and patients, (and taking you to get a taste of the best biscuits and jelly you'll ever taste in your life)......
They may not be the most interesting of pics I've ever taken. But these pictures were taken less than 2 miles from my home. And these are the sights which I leave in the morning----and they are the ones which greet me when I come home each evening.
These sights are much beloved to me and I visualize them as I sing my song..... and so here goes....
(By Oscar Hammerstein II and Richard Rodgers, for the movie, "The Sound of Music")
(Prequel to main song:) (Which are my thoughts before singing):
My day in the hills has come to an end, I *
I know a star has come out to tell me it's time to go, B*
But deep in the dark green shadows, A*
Are voices that urge me to stay, S*
So I stop and I wait and I listen, F*
For one more sound, for one more lovely thing, t*
That the hills might say.....
(pic is a nearby bridge where I watch hopefully for ducks...)
The hills are alive with the sound of music, T*
The songs they have sung for a thousand years, T*
The hills fill my heart with the sound of music, M*
My heart wants to sing every song it hears,
(pic is some local buffalo---which are laying down right now in anticipation of the rain which came later that evening.....)
My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds that rise, f*
from the lake to the trees, M*
My heart wants to sigh like the chimes that flies, f*
from a church on a breeze,
(an old red barn that I fear will collapse on the hefers' heads every time they mill around in there....)
To laugh like a brook when it trips and falls, o*
Over stone on its way, T*
To sing through the night, L*
Like a lark who is learning to pray,
I'll go to the hills when my heart is lonely, I *
I know I will hear what I've heard before,
(here's some more stupid buffalo again---if you ask me, I think they're simply lazy and love the excuse of laying down when it's going to rain, just so they can lollygag in the clover....)
My heart will be blessed with the sound of music...
And I'll sing once more......