At My Mother's House...and....The Legs.....

Ahhh....My Mother's House.

I'm sorry I haven't posted this week but I've been off work sick, due to The Dental Issue. It seems that I have not one--but two abscesses......aaaaarggh....and I will go for a root canal for one of them in the morning. (I'll spare you the details of the problem---which really is just the simple fact that I am so dental-phobic that I let the problem go till it is a disaster.) (Sigh......) Being what we here in Texas call a "titty baby" when I'm sick, the minute I got my doctor's excuse to be off work for a few days to take antibiotics and painkillers, I hightailed it the one-hour trek to my mother's house. My mother lives in a bigger town than I do. Her town actually has several McDonalds, several Taco Bells, a "Best Buy" store, and a Target to match the SuperWalmart, if you can believe that.

(I heard a rumor that they're going to get a Chili's restaurant but I'll believe that when I see it....) It's hard to be miserable at my mother's house. She is a delightfully eccentric artist and it's always fun to see what she's working on. Her art is absolutely fabulous and she's known throughout this area for her fascinating art pieces.

And... er...she's also known for scandalizing the local church ladies with some of her art (see below, the nekkid statue in the sitting room--and if you look closely at the cherub sconce above it (a piece from her antique collection)--you'll notice that he's nekkid, too--and his large genitals are painted a very vivid red....

(A couple of the church ladies looked pale and fanned themselves when they viewed this scene...)

(But this is nothing..... wait till you see....uh....The Legs...)

Anyway, the residents of the town love her artwork, her gardens, her antiques, and the interior of her home-- and frequently come to take tours. She works in mosaics, oil painting, fabric arts, and "eclectic" stuff. (Ya gotta watch her with that "eclectic" stuff.....as you'll see when I show you ... The Legs.....which, by the way, almost caused a satellite repair man to have a cardiac arrest...)

While languishing with this tooth problem I picked up a couple of the knitting projects that I've left at my mother's house. (I have knitting projects all over the place, just so I always have something to work on.) I finished one object and worked on another. (And speaking of being "eclectic" and making "unusual" projects, I'm guilty of the same, as you can see here.) Here's a pic of a sweater-coat I finished, The Bohemian Harlequin Coat, made out of mitred squares--and unfortunately it's not a very good pic (the sleeves cuffs are pulled back and secured with colorful buttons):

And here's part of the front of a cardigan I'm making, into which I knitted some heart motifs. The motifs are not my own design--I found the design in a magazine somewhere and I can't remember who designed it to give them the credit:

Anyway, back to my Mumsy. Currently she's in a mosaic mode. She actually cuts up the individual shards of glass, tiles, mirrors, and pottery herself, using "man-sized" tools and saws to cut them into just the right shapes for her mosaics. She haunts garage sales and thrift shops to buy colorful dishes, tiles and glassware for her work. There is NOTHING she will not mosaic. (She tried to mosaic the dog once and realized her error when he moved.) Here's her mosaics in the walkway going up to the front door:

Her work has a variety of "tones". Some of it is very modern, some exotic, and some is a little....er...fanciful, shall we say. (Yeah, that's a good word---fanciful--and again, you'll see what I mean when I show you....."The Legs".....) Here's one of her current works, a piece she calls "In Her Cups". It is made entirely of custom-cut glass, tiles, pottery pieces, "found pieces" and odds & ends: I like this piece. I also like the "masks" she makes. Here's one of her masks called "Crystal":

Her handyman loved this mask so much that he talked her into making him one, too--he wanted the eyes to have holes so that he could put a light inside and make the eyes light up.

My mother is so enthusiastic that she even paints and mosaics her own work studio. Here's the wall where she keeps her thousands of beads and other materials, with a work-in-progress on the table (it's actually a piece of what will eventually be a six-tiered object with a lot of mirror tiles in it):

She even painted the floor in there!

And here's one of the shelves where she keeps her supply of dishes, glasswares, and other stuff she uses in her pieces. Unfortunately, she's accidentally cut herself numerous times on sharp glass or mirror pieces.

One amazing thing she makes is garden art---she has made some of the most unusual, mosaic pedestals I've ever seen. Here's some of the pieces in her gardens. This piece reminds me of a disco ball because if the sun hits it just right, it looks like it's "turning" and shoots out neat rays of light that create a picturesque scene:

Here's Maria, the little bird-bath lady. Sorry I couldn't catch a pic with some of our birdies taking their morning baths---or the blue jays. I don't like blue-jays. They are assholes. One time I was sitting in this very garden enjoying the best tuna-fish sandwich I've ever made in my life and a big blue jay swooped down out of the sky and grabbed it right out of my hand. I am still looking for that stupid blue jay--because I'd love to smack the blue-feather bejeezus out of him.

And here is a nice piece, a pedestal planter. And the satellite reminds me of the story about.....the Satellite Repair Man and The Legs.......

There the poor guy was, minding his own business, scouting out the wiring and the lay-out in that particular area of the garden so that he could fix the satellite properly. Suddenly we heard a deathly scream. Alarmed, we ran to see what was the matter. We were scared to death that he'd electrocuted himself or something. But instead, we found him holding one hand to his heart, breathing heavily, and mopping sweat from his forehead with a big bandana with his other hand. It seems that he had come across....The Legs......

I told ya, you've got to keep your eye on my Mumsy..........

Anyway, it's off to the dentist I go in the morning. He seemed rather a stern sort when I went for my consultation appointment. He didn't yell at me or anything for the shape I'd let myself get into, but he did have what seems like a "disapproving attitude". When the appointment was over I tried to scram out of there so fast that I ran out into the waiting room still wearing that dang bib. Oh well, I just hope I can get through this root canal without embarassing myself by bawling in public again. Hopefully I will get through this and be back on the road again soon.....