People, this hurt I feel inside,
words could never explain...
I just wish it would rain,
(Oh, how I wish that it would rain...)*
("I Wish It Would Rain", The Temptations)* It rained once, but the weather forecast says it will rain again... And since I am one of those odd people who prefer bad weather to good, I sincerely hope the rain and thunder get here soon--- because I definitely need some cheering up. Because it's official -- we're worried. The short story is that Blaine works for Sprint. Yes, the same Sprint who recently announced that they are going to lay off 8,000 employees.... Blaine has worked for Sprint for about 11 years, and he was already layed off once a few years ago. Then he was hired back as a contractor---and then he was re-hired back full time. And since then he has always survived separate rounds of personnel lay-offs. But he doesn't think he'll survive this latest round of lay-offs. And so... we are on a very strict budget to try and cut expenses as much as we can --- to prepare for the worst. For Blaine, I try to buoy his spirits up by being positive and cheerful--- while also keeping a pleasant house so that he can relax from his stress when he gets home, even though watching the evening news on the television is an exercise in depression (what with the state of the country's current economy, ya know? And we know that we are not the only ones in this precarious financial boat---there are thousands--- millions--- of others....) I always try to have a nice dinner waiting for him---so tonight we're having one of my specialties in comfort foods, Portuguese Chicken and Rice, a dish I loved as a child during the years I lived in Portugal. Blaine has tons of other worries as well as his job--- his mother just had a mastectomy, his step-father has been told he needs more medical tests on his failing heart, and the owner of this duplex has sold the dang thing. And we don't know whether the new owner will raise our rent or not.... aaarghh..... Although it says somewhere in the Bible that the Lord never gives you more burdens than you can bear, I have been known to engage in long and vigorous arguments with the Lord about our differences concerning what He thinks is "more than I can bear" and what I think is "more than I can bear".... Um.... okay, I have even been known to... er.... shake my fist at the sky.... (just to make a point--- surely you can understand...) Anyway, to save money I have been packing Blaine sack-lunches to carry with him to work in order to save the $5.00 or so it costs to eat lunch in the Sprint eatery. (He likes it when I include a couple of sugar cookies in a Baggie---and we re-use the Baggie, of course.) But it's the waiting that's the worst. Blaine says he figures the Sprint ax will fall --- and thus he'll know for sure --- in the next 3 or 4 weeks.... ...the next 3 or 4 weeks..... For my own spirits, I just keep on knitting. I started a Pinwheel Sweater to satisfy my need to combine wild color combo's and use up stash yarn. (Isn't that the neatest pattern?) (The Pinwheel Sweater pattern, I mean---not my particular version, as I know my color choices aren't everybody's cup of tea, heh!...) And I remind myself often of Elizabeth Zimmermann's motto..... "Knit on with confidence and hope, through all crises." Yes, that helps -- but it does bring a little sneak of a tear to my eye... (Hmmmm... doesn't look like Little Baby is doing all that much worrying...) (OH, EXCUUUSE ME, Little Baby! Didn't realize I so rudely interrupted your nice little dream of The Neverending Tuna Fountain....) (Hmmph!....) Anyhoo....and for anybody else who is going through problems like we are, I'm going to say it once again-- "Knit on with confidence and hope, through all crises...." (Sniff...) *