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Tuesday, November 21, 2006
A Note from The Message Goat.....
"Ahem? Ahem, ladies & gentlemen: This is your Message Goat speaking. (Yes, I know I've been missing in action lately, but I haven't gone anywhere--I hang out in the pastures frolicking with Nanny Goat and the Kids until Road Nurse needs me.) Road Nurse asked me to tell you that she wanted to be here tonight to speak with you but she is so utterly and completely backed up in things that she's unable to write a complete post right now. In order to allow the employees to have Thursday and Friday off, Road Nurse's company is trying to to cram five days of paperwork and patient visits into three days; thus, they are busier than "a long-tailed cat burying poop in a room full of rocking chairs".... But Road Nurse will return in a day or two after she makes another Road Trip to her mother's town for Thanksgiving. (That makes two Road Trips in a week--the Jeep has been busy!) But when she returns she said she'll tell you about her trip to The Big City, her visit to the yarn store (an experience which she likened to "having died and gone to Yarn Heaven"), and her near-death experience in the fabled death-defying Dallas Traffic..... (I have it on good authority that upon Road Nurse's return to Podunk from her experiences in Dallas Traffic, she quickly performed three very important tasks... First she stopped by her church in order to formally get down on her knees and Thank The Good Lord for having spared her life from the horror of a bad end on the dreaded Mix-Master of Interstate 635 somewhere near Plano. Then she scheduled the Jeep for a "check-up" and front-end alignment so that it would stop pouting after having had to suddenly, and without warning, jump over a piece of Maytag washing machine debris which for some INSANE reason was lying in the middle lane of westbound Interstate 635---after which Road Nurse was reported to have screamed "That'll teach 'em to mess with a Road Nurse who has quick reflexes and four-wheel-drive!" And then she bee-lined it to her Beauty Parlor for a touch-up coloring job on the 18 white hairs that sprouted from her head after her experience on said Interstate 635.) (She also said something about having "peed her pants in fear" but I think she was just being overly dramatic---you know how Road Nurse is....) (Okay, I'll just also mention here that Road Nurse is also reported to have said the following after her near-death experience on the Mix-Master--- but you didn't hear it from me-- "Dammit---I know I said I wanted to go to Yarn Heaven but I didn't mean THIS SOON!.....") Anyway, Road Nurse also said that she's got lots of pictures to show you, like one of her very own Paint Pony (alas, not a real paint pony, but a beautiful facsimile), the huge Christmas Tree at The Biggest Walmart in The Entire World, the infamous spot on Interstate 635 where Road Nurse almost met her Maker too early, Road Nurse's beautiful sister's lovely house in Dallas, and the lovely Red Tea-Kettle she bought on the advice of Lesley. (Road Nurse said to tell Lesley that the Red Tea-Kettle GOES PERFECTLY!!) Road Nurse also plans on taking pictures of "A Road Nurse Thanksgiving" and sharing them with her readers... who she says she loves very much and wishes a very Happy Thanksgiving! That is all--the Road Nurse will be back shortly..... (Dark meat with Giblet Gravy RULES!)