Thursday, July 27, 2006

An Announcement from The Message Goat

(tap tap tap on the microphone.....) ("Is this dang new microphone working? Why can't we just do this where we used to, the old way, in the back pasture? I can't abide this alfalfa hay....) (No, I can't take a cell phone call from Nanny-Goat right now--I told her never to to call me at work...") (I'm ON? Well, why didn't you tell...") Ahem. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have an announcement to make about The Bohemian Knitter. As you all know, The Bohemian Knitter recently took a sabbatical from her usual job. She had great plans on having time to do her laundry and color her roots. Anyway, it seems that there has been an interesting new development.... (suddenly, there's heard some loud shouting coming from the back of the pasture, near the Chipmunks Gallery, from a cow wearing a white T-shirt!....) "STOP THE SOY CAMPAIGN! STOP THE SOY CAMPAIGN! SEND OUR COWS BACK TO THE DAIRY!!!! STOP THE SOY CAMPAIGN!!! HAVEN'T ENOUGH COWS BEEN PUT OUT OF WORK BY THIS EVIL EMPIRE???" "Er....I'll...aaah....just wait a moment here until the..." "STOP THE SOY CAMPAIGN!!! IT'S TIME TO GET MILK!!! GET MILK! GET MILK! GET MILK! "Er...okay, I'll just continue when the order has been established when the...uh...Donkey Patrol can please remove" (shouting from the protesting cow fades away into the distance as the Donkey Patrol escorts the cow out of the pasture and away from the meeting....)

GET MILK! GET MILK! GET MILK! Get Milk!........

(Order is restored.)

Okay, thank you, Donkey Patrol. Anyway, as I was saying. I have an announcement to make about Bohemian Knitter. As you all know, Bohemian Knitter had recently taken on a new assignment in a new territory. She loves her new territory, her patients there, and all of her contacts in the Organization of Animals community there. She was very reluctant to take the sabbatical because she is rather a work-a-holic who loves the wide open spaces and freedom of the road in the Wild Wild West. However, due to recent events, she became exhausted, worn out, and needed a break to take a breather and re-evaluate her stress level.

And although Bohemian Knitter loves to pieces all her many friends in her current company, Bohemian Knitter's current company management has recently made budget cut-backs, slashing staffing, causing continual over-working of employees-- which then stretched many of their available Road Nurses to the breaking points....

And, thus, Road Nurse was using this sabbatical to re-evaluate her stress level....

Anyway, this morning there came a new development. This morning she received an unexpected telephone call about 10 am from one of her Old Friends, a Fellow Road Nurse of Legend and Lore. This Old Friend of hers asked Bohemian Knitter how she was doing on her sabbatical. (As you know from before, these types of phone calls are sometimes made during times of Road Nurse shortages in the cut-throat world of Road Nursing.) And um....Bohemian Knitter's exact reply was something to the effect of: "Dang it! I thought I was going to sneak away and do my laundry and my roots! You can't even fart around here without everybody knowing which way the....." Oh, no, that's not right-- I meant that she replied: "Oh, why, I am having my nice sabbatical, Old Friend, Fellow Road Nurse of Legend and Lore." Anyway, Bohemian Knitter's Old Friend, Fellow Road Nurse of Legend and Lore, runs another Road Nurse company---and its headquarters are located in Bohemian Knitter's old territory, the one she was working in before she transferred to her new assignment. (You know, the territory which contains that place where the Bull-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named almost mauled her in the dirt at the Rickenbocker Ranch!.....) Bohemian Knitter's Old Friend, Fellow Road Nurse of Legend and Lore, asked if Bohemian Knitter would come "have coffee with her tomorrow morning"..... This is a significant development in the current Wild Wild West Situation. Thus, I would like to put all the animals on alert should we see Bohemian Knitter's Jeep coming down the Interstate. Please don't aggravate her or do anything to piss her off in her current mood--as there may be something cooking in terms of Bohemian Knitter returning to her old territory.

Because who knows what goes on in Bohemian Knitter's head?

(As a matter of fact, who the hell knows what goes on in ANY of those crazy Road Nurses' heads????)

All we know is that we miss Bohemian Knitter and want her to return to her original territory where most of us are located. Which would also mean that we could then again amuse ourselves once again by messing with her head and causing her to get into a flap on a daily basis again. Remember how fun that was?

Hah! I'll NEVER forget the time she slipped and sat in that cow pie when she tried to kick BoDidley-the-Dog for biting that stupid calf! Remember what a scream that was?-- Hee Hee!! Oh, er....I mean, I miss Bohemian Knitter very much and I hope that she has a fun time having coffee with her Old Friend, Fellow Road Nurse of Legend and Lore.... That is all. I will make further announcements as new developments occur.


Knitting Rose said...

I know you are still working through a lot of things. I want you to know that you are in my prayers. I have been there and am still in some of those dark places. Don't stop - you can keep on. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and battles his demons. We both understand rehab (mine was SEVERE depression about 15 years ago). But more than that is the process. You just have to remember the process. It is a step by step action. All the time. I know that sometimes if you don't laugh you will cry. Sometimes if someone is kind to you it makes you totally break down. But you actually need those breakdowns sometimes. It is a healing process. You of all people know that you cannot heal without a little pain and growth involved. Again, You are in my prayers.

FugueStateKnits said...

Dear Bohemian,
I don't know you well, but I understand your pain. My prayers and hopes are with you.
And like EZ says Knit on....(I never remember quotes except the stupid one on the Crest commercial from the 1960s "Crest has been shown to be an effective decay preventing dentrifice that can be of significant value when used in a conscientiously applied program of oral hygiene and regular professional care.")
Note to self - and I'm on the "outside!"
God love ya!
PS can also understand addiction, having one to white flour and sugar (hence my participation on the ample knitters list:))

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