Sunday, June 11, 2006

Announcement From The Message Goat

"Attention, Please. Attention!" AHEM! "Thank you. A few announcements before the main topic of the meeting starts. The cows need to have their requests for alfalfa hay in by the end of the week. Also, we will be taking sign-ups for volunteers to work in Bohemian Knitter's favorite Rescue Organization--the Underground Railroad for Chickens, a heroic group which attempts to save doomed chickens from the Chicken Factory. Remember: If Even One Chicken is Saved, It Is Worth It!

Also, the Friday Cricket Cantata has been cancelled due to the farmers deciding on an early hay harvesting this year which, of course, disturbs our concert halls in the hay fields. It will be rescheduled for the end of the harvest-- drat those farmers who have no consideration for decent, hardworking crickets.

Anyway, that is all the local announcements and we will now proceed with the meeting topic. Refreshments will be served after this meeting in Pasture B.

Okay, to the topic at hand: I have an announcement to make regarding Bohemian Knitter who, as you know, has been toiling and plodding her way through a week of being the On-Call Nurse. She is tired, she is worn-out, and she is insane---but she's valiantly hanging in there, patiently waiting for the magic time of 07:59 am tomorrow--as that is the minute that she officially goes OFF Call. It seems that during Bohemian Knitter's weekend as the On-Call RN, she received an unexpected phone call from one of the company Directors who is a friend of hers. The Director offered Bohemian Knitter a transfer to another branch office of the company. She asked Bohemian Knitter to transfer because this particular branch office is in need of an experienced RN who can help train several new nurses there. The transfer would be a boon to Bohemian Knitter because it is much closer to her own residence than her current assignment, an advantage in this day and age of high gas prices. And I will mention here that the new location is in a hick town that is even smaller than the hick town Bohemian Knitter is currently working in right now -- if you can believe that there actually IS a smaller hick town than that town... The Director also stated that she hoped to see Bohemian Knitter more often, as that particular branch office is one of the company offices that the Director supervises and frequents quite often. And thus, I would like to inform you all that Bohemian Knitter accepted the new position. But she accepted on the condition that she be allowed to take her framed photograph of "Dog-The-Bounty-Hunter" with her to her new desk. (Oh yes, and also on the condition that "any no-account, unruly, butt-head bulls in that area leave her the hell alone". However, we animals must be particularly conscious this week of Bohemian Knitter's dilemma--because she is experiencing sadness at the thought of leaving her good buddies, especially Amber, whom she hasn't even had the guts to tell yet. Bohemian Knitter is also very sad at leaving her many animal friends. Although the actual transfer is not for a couple or more weeks, Bohemian Knitter knows she must tell Amber and her boss before The Director does-- so that they don't have to hear it from somebody else! She figures she's got till about 9:30 am tomorrow morning, at which time the grapevine usually goes into full swing and this news will be (as you say in hick-ese) "all over town". Hopefully, Bohemian Knitter will find her courage and tell her friends in the morning when she shows up for work and turns over the On-Call Books to the person who will be taking call for the next week. Turning over the On-Call Books is usually a very joyous occasion for Bohemian Knitter. She has been known to take the On-Call Books into the office on such mornings piled in a wheelbarrow, singing a can-can song such as: "Tra-la-la-BOOM-bee-day! I go off call today! Tra-la-la-boom-bee-day! Tra-la-la-boom-bee-day!" (One time she came into work and dramatically plopped them with a thud onto Crystal's desk, whereupon Crystal flew into a complete SNIT and yelled: "Git those damn BOOKS off my desk--I traded my call week with Amber!", whereupon Amber then started fussing and protesting that "she had traded with so-and-so"-- and then a complete cat-fight ensued, progressing noisily in decibels, with Bohemian Knitter dancing around the fracas singing her Tra-la-la-BOOM-bee-day song, until the Boss finally entered the melee and yelled: "QUIIIIEEEETTTTTTT!!!" ) Anyway, hopefully Bohemian Knitter will be able to get through this difficult time in which she makes the transfer to the new town--where she will surely enjoy meeting all kinds of new friends--both human and animal--- in, as they say, greener pastures???......

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the new job!

EvaLux said...

Congarats on the new job!!!

Okay, me, a european, has a question: do you have to pay for your own gas? Isn't the company paying for it? Or at least part of it?

Cheers Eva

Claudia said...

Congratulations on the new job/location. Hope it's as funny as this one - LOL!

Lizardknits said...

Congrats on the transfer! I'm sure all the bulls in your new area have been warned via the bo(vine)grapevine, to leave you alone, or suffer the consequesnes! Hey - how about a podcast of the cricket concert?

Elizabeth H.

EllyMae said...

Wow! Congrats on the new job! Hope the announcement to your co-workers went smoothly. Looking forward to further adventures in the greener pastures.

Paula said...

I enjoyed reading your blog, as well as your posts on my knitting lists. I was having fond memories of when my hometown in South GA got a McDonalds, then the teenagers could cruise farther, and not have to stop with the circuit around the DQ. I wish you the best on your new job.