tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post6080511431396285418..comments2023-10-31T09:51:46.455-05:00Comments on Exit 95 on The Yellowbrick Road...: An Ill Wind Blows Through Kansas....Bo...http://www.blogger.com/profile/02136803397641401011noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post-76456387797119566312010-10-08T09:15:50.137-05:002010-10-08T09:15:50.137-05:00Thank you, Cindy!Thank you, Cindy!Bo...https://www.blogger.com/profile/02136803397641401011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post-30639661838248153052010-10-07T22:37:11.571-05:002010-10-07T22:37:11.571-05:00I have been absent, but am finally catching up I t...I have been absent, but am finally catching up I think! I am sorry you relapsed, but you can & will overcome it. I do think your mother was in the wrong for making the drinks, especially after you asked her not to, but I also think Blaine was in the wrong for accepting & participating in them! Love goes both way & is supportive of those we love and not only did she not support you, but neither did he. I remember a cousin who married a man who was an alcoholic & she did similar things & then wanted to blame him for his having issues with it - not ever seeing how she was contributing to it all!<br /><br />{{HUGS}} to you!Cindy/KShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01902208663724302611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post-5630029070499320912010-10-07T16:38:18.094-05:002010-10-07T16:38:18.094-05:00Anonymous---I just don't know...Anonymous---I just don't know...Bo...https://www.blogger.com/profile/02136803397641401011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post-44451443182857175722010-10-07T16:37:14.213-05:002010-10-07T16:37:14.213-05:00Thanks, Kathy!Thanks, Kathy!Bo...https://www.blogger.com/profile/02136803397641401011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post-83792813248466284892010-10-07T16:28:45.056-05:002010-10-07T16:28:45.056-05:00an apple falls not far from the treean apple falls not far from the treeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post-65821985989988995462010-10-07T15:55:03.246-05:002010-10-07T15:55:03.246-05:00I agree with Maggie. Process your hurt, pain, and...I agree with Maggie. Process your hurt, pain, and sorrow yourself (and you will)....for no one else can do it for you. I have a hard time understanding Blaine's acceptance of all the drinks at your mothers....and him telling you to have a "real one" instead of a "virgin" screwdriver. Not his fault, but it seems far on the outside of support. I live with a recovering alcoholic....26 years married...he has relapsed three times...hard, hard, hard on all in the family. I appreciate your honest and raw account of your weekend. You will be okay. Look out for yourself...nourish yourself, appreciate yourself, and love yourself.<br /><br />KathyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post-78943608919185618452010-10-07T15:16:10.176-05:002010-10-07T15:16:10.176-05:00Aj & Maggie: Thank you very much! I really n...Aj & Maggie: Thank you very much! I really needed to hear your kind words!Bo...https://www.blogger.com/profile/02136803397641401011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post-44946121804791022252010-10-07T09:40:29.844-05:002010-10-07T09:40:29.844-05:00Bo,
Not really my business, and hope you are not o...Bo,<br />Not really my business, and hope you are not offended, but . . .<br />She is your mother. She is older (obviously) and probably not as flexible. She did not intentionally deliberately sabotage you. She was also probably feeling left out, for whatever was going on that resulted in her not going to the wedding.<br />What are you hoping to gain? An acknowledgement of your hurt? Hurting her in turn? And did you have a discussion with Blaine in advance on his anticipated drinking?<br />They both do love you. And they both could have acted with more kindness and wisdom. Where do you want to go in your relationship with them, and do they add more to your life than they subtract? Please think things through before taking further action.<br />And have a virtual e-hug from me. Comments meant with love, and hope they come through that way.ajhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05744877110277927621noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post-25683903325556373632010-10-07T08:08:25.049-05:002010-10-07T08:08:25.049-05:00Bo, it wasnt' wrong or controling to ask your ...Bo, it wasnt' wrong or controling to ask your mom to have consideration for you. But some situations are never going to be easy or good situations for people battling alcholism. Anything with an open bar is high on that list, and family or friends that do a similar 'open bar' at their house.<br />I hope the landlord gets the heat fixed soon, hope that some time with your clays and yarns helps you get back that hard won peace you have been fighting to achieve.<br />In the meantime, you do have some solid people out here in cyber world who do care that you gain progress on staying sober.<br />Remember, when you learned to walk, you fell some, tripped some. When you learned to ride a bike, you again, had a wreck or two, but got back up. Once again, pull up the big girl panties, get back on that 'bike' and this time ride even further, we know you can do it.Maggiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10108221715306839746noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post-71914852296413400362010-10-07T07:16:25.801-05:002010-10-07T07:16:25.801-05:00Hi Lora---it does seem that a lot of my family has...Hi Lora---it does seem that a lot of my family has issues around alcohol. Blaine wants the whole idea to be dropped, but it's awful hard to be dropped after the things she said to me when I told her I wished she hadn't served all those margueritas. I think my mother used to read my blog but I don't think she does these days.Bo...https://www.blogger.com/profile/02136803397641401011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post-62346573000374968552010-10-07T07:14:31.369-05:002010-10-07T07:14:31.369-05:00Thanks, Anonymous---I might do just that the next...Thanks, Anonymous---I might do just that the next time I go down there.Bo...https://www.blogger.com/profile/02136803397641401011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post-7411051366804052602010-10-06T23:46:32.778-05:002010-10-06T23:46:32.778-05:00BTW... does your Mother read the blog?
Lora (agai...BTW... does your Mother read the blog?<br /><br />Lora (again)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post-73605727692143004962010-10-06T23:45:11.835-05:002010-10-06T23:45:11.835-05:00Have you ever wondered if Your Mum has a drinking ...Have you ever wondered if Your Mum has a drinking problem?? Sounds like she's feeling defensive.<br /><br />I don't think you were out of line to ask your Mom to go easy for your visit. If you went to your sister's HUGE wedding and expected hundreds of people to accomodate you, then I'd say you were delusional... but asking your Mom and Blaine to help you out a bit sounds reasonable to me. <br /><br />What does Blaine have to say about his part in this?<br /><br />LoraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post-41430555035575352822010-10-06T20:41:30.163-05:002010-10-06T20:41:30.163-05:00There's a lesson in here. Don't ever assum...There's a lesson in here. Don't ever assume people will do anything. And next time you go to Texas, stay in a hotel.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post-83056418764641878492010-10-06T18:39:19.237-05:002010-10-06T18:39:19.237-05:00Thank you so much, Meg.Thank you so much, Meg.Bo...https://www.blogger.com/profile/02136803397641401011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27782375.post-26958410953967559162010-10-06T17:50:17.765-05:002010-10-06T17:50:17.765-05:00I know that you understand that you have to accept...I know that you understand that you have to accept responsibility for your own actions. It would be real nice if your mother was willing to go the extra mile and help you out by temporarily altering her behavior a little bit to make that easier for you, though. I'm sorry that she didn't, and I know that must have made it a lot harder for you to get through the wedding and no doubt did contribute heavily to your relapse. No matter what anyone says to you, it's <b>never</b> controlling to ask for help, <i>even if that help involves someone else's behavior</i>. It's only controlling when you <i>expect</i> others to change their behavior for you. Sometimes people choose not to help, and there's nothing you can do about it. I don't know whether your mother was in the wrong, but I don't think she was as "in the right" as she could have been, either.<br /><br />I can almost promise you, though, that you're never going to get her to admit any such thing (she sounds a bit like some of my relatives), and if you want to return to a harmonious relatonship with her, it might be best to try to forget about it. I know that's not what you want to hear right now, but sometimes it's just better to walk away than to go on banging your head against a wall.<br /><br />I'll be thinking of you, and hoping that things will improve for you soon.Megnoreply@blogger.com